


How to Break a Curse

by KittyBandit



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Alternate Universe - Magic, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Sex, Drama, Ex Sex, Exes to Lovers, Fingering, Jealousy, M/M, Misunderstandings, Oral Sex, Past!Lucky Relationship, Rekindling romance, Sex, Witch AU, Witch Curses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-06
Updated: 2018-09-06
Packaged: 2019-07-07 20:49:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15915975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KittyBandit/pseuds/KittyBandit
Summary: Lavi hadn’t seen Allen for four years, his boyfriend disappearing without a word. But when he shows up on his doorstep and begs for help to lift a curse, Lavi risks it all to save him.





	How to Break a Curse

**Author's Note:**

> My second contribution to the DGM Big Bang 2018!! My partner was littleghosttoast on tumblr, and they drew some amazing art for this fic! 
> 
> I really hope you all like this. It'd been in my head for a while, and was a bitch to write. I'm so happy to finally share this with you all!

Lavi stifled a yawn, the words on the page blurring as his good eye teared up. He’d been sitting at the front desk of his Grandfather’s bookstore all day, and had already pored over multiple grimoires before the sun had even set that night. With the old clock on the wall behind him reading two minutes to eleven, he figured he could use a break. Besides, _Black Cat Books_ was closed at eleven, and he might as well move his reading session to his and Gramps’ upstairs apartment. He had to replenish his coffee supply, anyway.

Books upon books upon books piled high in the store, stacked up on shelves, tables, chairs, and any convenient place. Dust lined everything, and motes hung so thick in the air it was a wonder that Lavi hadn’t developed allergies yet. His grandfather had spell tomes and compendiums and grimoires and anything else a little witch’s heart could desire. He’d been amassing the collections for years, well before Lavi had been born, and his store and reputation were unmatched by any other booksellers in the area. It was the reason Lavi was still working so late—his Grandfather had been called to assess a collection of old books found in some rich person’s house. Lavi hadn’t bothered to listen to the details, but suffice it to say, his Grandfather’s expertise had been requested, so Lavi minded the store until he returned.

He’d grown used to it. After all, a Bookman’s job was never done.

A faint meow caught Lavi’s attention and pulled him out of his thoughts. Looking down, he saw the shop’s namesake curling around his ankles. Jasper, the store’s black cat and guardian purred at him as she stared up with those large, golden eyes.

“I know—you don’t have to tell me twice. Closing time.” Lavi set down his book on the desk before stretching his arms high over his head to work the kinks out of his back. He’d been sitting for hours, and felt his muscles already begin to cramp. As he went about his closing duties, the front door opened and the telltale bell alerted him to someone entering. He sighed as he shifted a pile of books from the counter to one of the tables, then turned to address the customer.

“Sorry, we’re clo—”

Lavi saw the bedraggled mess standing just at the front of the shop, dripping wet from the rain that had persisted all day. Pulling back the hood of his dirty coat, he looked at Lavi, familiar silver eyes seeking out his form. The dark circles around his eyes were new, and his shock of white hair had grown longer, down to his shoulders, but Lavi still recognized him. His face had been ingrained in Lavi’s mind for years, no matter how hard he’d tried to scrub it away.

His heart thudded against his chest, a prickling unease racing along his skin. He stood there frozen as the name that’d always been on his mind spilled past his lips. “Allen.”

“Lavi,” he said back, voice strained and raspy. His silver eyes shimmered in the yellowed light of the bookstore, and he swallowed nervously as he stood there, his coat dripping rainwater onto the dusty hardwood floor.

Allen’s voice seemed to break whatever spell he’d woven over the redhead. Lavi snapped out of his panic and buried it down deep, until it was nothing more than an ache in his guts. His head cleared and shock melted away into something he could focus and use— _anger_. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

Lavi’s tone must’ve been harsher than he realized—Allen visibly shrank at the words he’d spat out. Allen took a step back, curling his left hand to his chest. He pulled the ratty windbreaker tighter around his body, eyes downcast as he avoided Lavi’s gaze. “I…I need your help.”

Dumbstruck, Lavi watched him—his heart still beating wildly in his chest. The anger came back tenfold, and he clenched his fists tight to distract himself from the growing anxiety bubbling up inside him. “Are you kidding me, Al? Really?!” Allen winced, Lavi’s voice growing louder with each word that spewed past his lips. “I haven’t seen you in four years and you suddenly show up on my doorstep? No apologies? No explanations?”

Allen paused for a long moment, as if deliberating on Lavi’s words. When he finally looked up and met his gaze, Lavi saw the tears threatening to spill past his eyelashes. “Please, I have nowhere else to go. I just… Lavi, you’re the only one I can trust.” He pulled his arm tighter to his chest, staring back at the redhead. “Please. _Please_.”

 Lavi broke eye contact with Allen, a thick, heavy lump forming in his throat at the look on his face. He’d never seen Allen so worn down, so desperate. _So broken_. He knew it would be better to turn Allen away. Whatever he was mixed up in, Lavi wanted no part.

But a little voice in the back of his head chimed a question, one that reverberated in his skull over and over again until it was all Lavi could think— _Why?_ Why was Allen here? Why now? What was so important, what made him so desperate, that Allen had dared to come back here just to see him?

When Lavi didn’t speak up, the silence in the room stretching out too long, Allen said, “I wouldn’t have come here if I could’ve avoided it. I didn’t want to bother you, but…”

Lavi’s lips twitched in displeasure, eyebrows narrowing at Allen’s roundabout way of avoiding explaining himself. “Just spit it out already. What do you want from me?”

Allen stiffened up at the demand, eyes wide as he flinched back. Lavi almost expected him to run, too intimidated by his forceful tone to follow through and ask him for the favor. But instead, he complied. Allen pulled the glove off his left hand, fingers twitching as he worked the leather free of his digits. As the glove fell to the floor, Allen showed his hand to Lavi. The skin, once pale and perfect, was marred with black and red scarring. It was dry, scaly, and on the back of his hand, pressed into the center and surrounded by raw, aching flesh, was a black cross.

Lifting his hand for Lavi to see better in the dim light of the bookstore, Allen trembled. His voice came out weak and weary, strained as he tried to keep from falling to pieces. “I’m cursed.”

Lavi’s eye widened as the gravity of the situation fell over him like a bucket of cold water. He stared at Allen’s deformed hand, the sight of the scaly skin sending a shiver crawling up his spine. It took a few seconds to completely grasp the situation, and when he did, Lavi swore under his breath. “Shit.” He muttered a few quick spells, waving his hand as the doors locked and the blinds shut tight. He stalked over to Allen and snatched his discarded glove up from the floor. “Keep your hand covered—what if someone sees it?”

“Sorry,” Allen replied, wincing as he tugged the glove back on.

Lavi’s earlier panic returned, only this time, its source had shifted. He looked down at Allen, heart in his throat. “Goddammit, Al. What kind of trouble did you get yourself into?”

Allen laughed, soft and mirthless as he stared at Lavi’s chest. “Trouble seems to find me.”

Knowing he couldn’t kick Allen out without a proper explanation, Lavi turned and gestured for him to follow. “Come upstairs. We’ll talk more there.”

Allen’s shoulders visibly relaxed as he followed after him. “Thank you.”

 

xXxXxXx

 

_The white-haired boy shuffled cards with ease, like each smooth piece of cardboard was an extension of himself. And Lavi watched, enamored—enthralled with each twitch of his wrist and press of fingertips on the deck. The afternoon sun beat down, and Lavi leaned against the picnic table in the quad, his lips quirked into a faint smile._

_A nudge at his shoulder drew his attention back to his friends, and when he looked to Lenalee, she gave him a knowing grin._ _“Just go talk to him if you’re so smitten.”_

_A bright flush of red smeared over Lavi_ _’s cheeks. “I am not smitten.”_

_Kanda huffed before taking another gulp of his bottled green tea._ _“You’re grossing me out with how much you’re drooling.”_

_Lavi_ _’s eyebrows twitched as he scowled. “I’m not drooling, Yuu!”_

_“Lavi,” Lenalee began. Her calm voice and the gentle press of her hand on his back smoothed his ruffled feathers. “Just go talk to him. It won’t hurt anything.”_

_With a groan, Lavi stood and made his way across the quad. Groups of students were scattered about, not paying attention to him as he shoved his hands in his jean pockets and strode through the grass towards the tree the white-haired boy sat under. He didn_ _’t have a backpack or any books with him—just a half-empty bottle of water and the deck of cards he hadn’t stopped shuffling since he’d caught Lavi’s eye twenty minutes ago._

_With his heart hammering in his chest, he sat down across from the kid, a confident smile on his face._ _“Hey.”_

_He didn_ _’t look up at Lavi, or stop shuffling his cards. “Not interested.”_

_“Ouch,” Lavi said, wincing playfully as he tried to pretend the sudden and abrupt brush off didn’t hurt as much as it did. “You didn’t even look at me and you’re already telling me to get lost?”_

_His fingers faltered for a split second, just enough for Lavi to catch the miss. But before he dropped a single card, he continued his shuffling, the cards arching into the air with ease._ _“Doesn’t matter. I’m not interested.”_

_If Lavi had been smarter, he would_ _’ve quit then. The surly kid didn’t seem to want to have anything to do with anyone. It was no wonder he’d been sitting alone at lunch. “I just came over to say hello—and ask you about your card magic. I mean… and to see if you wanted to join me and my friends for lunch. Since, y’know, you’re new and all. They’re really nice, I swear. Well, maybe not Yuu, but you get used to him.”_

_The boy hesitated, the cards stilling in his hands as he finally looked up. His silver eyes met Lavi_ _’s green one, and a shiver rattled down the redhead’s spine. “It’s not magic.”_

_Lavi blinked, still struck by how gorgeous the mystery boy was up close. All that staring from across the yard had paled in comparison to the visage before him now._ _“What?”_

_“It’s not magic. It’s sleight of hand. I’m not using magic to do this.”_

_“What?! Holy shit—that’s amazing!”_

_He shuffled the cards again, creating a bridge with them in one motion before they were all back in his hand, neat and tidy. He smiled, soft and small._ _“Thanks. I learned it from my, um—guardian.”_

_Lavi leaned in closer, smile bright and wide._ _“He must be pretty talented to be able to teach you this.”_

_The boy shrugged._ _“He’s something all right.”_

_Lavi chewed on the inside of his lip, his heart fluttering excitedly in his chest._ _“Can you show me more tricks?”_

_“That depends.”_

_“On what?”_

_“If you have any food to share.”_

Lavi remembered meeting Allen Walker as if it were yesterday—the memory still leaving him as flushed and weak-kneed as he’d been on that day. They’d been young, Allen only a high school freshman at the time and Lavi starting his junior year.

Allen had had a pretty face, almost feminine for how delicate his features were. Pale skin, silver eyes, and white hair made him look as soft and alluring as the moon. But now, in the poorly lit living room of his apartment above the shop, Lavi could see the Allen he’d known years ago was no more.

His skin was sallow, dark circles under his eyes—bruised purple and yellow. Allen had always been thin, his body lithe and strong, but now… Lavi could see how weak he’d grown in their years apart. He looked like a dry leaf; brittle, frail, and seconds away from crumbling to pieces.

“Sit,” Lavi said gently, pushing Allen towards the couch as he hurried into the kitchen. The apartment was in shambles, books, clothes, and items strewn all over and stacked in more and more intricate piles. With Bookman gone, he’d been worse about keeping their hoarder’s paradise in order, and there was little room to maneuver. After starting a fresh pot of coffee, he yanked open the refrigerator and scoured its contents for something quick to make. He settled on a turkey sandwich, since he had all the ingredients handy (damn, he really needed to go shopping, didn’t he?), and put it together while the coffee brewed. By the time the pot was full, he’d finished with the food and poured two cups.

He returned to the living room, a sandwich in one hand and two mugs in the other. Allen gave him a surprised look as he handed him the sandwich first, then one of the mugs. 

“You still take cream and four teaspoons of sugar in your coffee, right?” Lavi asked, setting the mug on the coffee table. His own coffee had been untouched, as he preferred it black.

“You remembered,” Allen said, his voice soft as he took the mug into his hands. He still had his gloves on, but he cupped his hands around it, soaking in the heat before taking a tentative sip.

“I remember everything,” Lavi reminded him. He kept his voice neutral, distant. Allen might’ve surprised him earlier in the shop, but he wasn’t going to let it affect him any more than necessary. “Now, tell me absolutely everything you can about this curse.”

Licking his lips, Allen set his coffee down and sighed. The fingers on his left hand curled up, the appendage still gloved to keep it hidden. Even in the privacy of Lavi’s own residence, it was hard to uncover it. “It’s a long story…”

“I have time,” Lavi said, pulling his mug closer. The steam rose up, warming his face as he scrutinized Allen’s every move.

Allen curled in on himself, shoulders slumped and dirty strands of silver hair obscuring his face. “It’s apparently a family curse, or so Cross told me.”

Lavi’s eyebrows pinched tight at that, confusion spreading over his face. “Family curse? But… Al. You’re an orphan? How the hell would he know if it was a family curse or not?”

A small, sad smile pulled at Allen’s lips, and Lavi felt his chest pinch tight at the sight of it. “More secrets from my illustrious guardian, I guess. I don’t know if he was trying to protect me by hiding the truth, but it obviously didn’t work because…Well…” He gestured with his left hand again, to illustrate his point without words.

Lavi schooled his expression, impassive and stoic, though his insides twisted up like worms. He hadn’t taken a sip of coffee, instead letting the hot ceramic mug burn his palms as he squeezed his fingers around it. “When did this all begin?”

Allen tugged at his glove, fingers scratching around the edge as if he could rip the cursed appendage off and be rid of it. “Two months ago, maybe? It’s all been a blur.” He took a breath and forced himself to stop fidgeting. “My hand started itching and burning around then. I thought it might be some kind of skin condition for how it started, but I didn’t have the cash to go see a doctor. Probably for the best. If they figured out what was really wrong, they would’ve called the CROWs on me.”

Lavi swallowed, a lump growing in his throat. The Central Regulation Office of Witchcraft had a habit of dealing with curses in unsavory ways. He’d heard tell that the office sent out their CROWs to deal with anyone unlucky enough to be cursed or possessed. Sometimes, the witch would be able to return to their normal life, if the curse could be lifted. Other curses, however—the kind that were unbreakable, or too difficult to manage—had a habit of landing the cursed individual in indefinite custody. Cursed individuals were “too dangerous” to be left out in society. The thought of a CROW catching whiff of Allen’s predicament sent a cold shiver through his body.

Allen continued, his hands trembling as he spoke. “After a few weeks, the skin on my hand grew dark, and the cursed mark appeared on the back of it. Ever since, it has crawled up past my wrist and I haven’t had luck in stopping it yet. I had to track down Cross to get some answers. It took me a month, but I found him.”

Lavi set his mug back down on the cluttered coffee table, pushing aside a stack of books in the process. “I’m guessing he wasn’t much help if you’re here.”

Allen’s eyelids lowered and that same sad smile graced his lips. The soft melancholy radiated off of him like heat from a furnace. “All I learned was that… that my father had suffered the same fate as me. It was the reason I fell under Cross’ care in the first place.” Lavi continued to watch him silently, lips pressed tight into a thin line. He hadn’t even touched the sandwich Lavi had brought him, which only drove home how upset he was. “All Cross could tell me about the curse was that it was passed down to each family member for generations. Once it starts, it can’t be undone. The marks will slowly cover my whole body, until I become a vessel for the demon.”

“And Cross couldn’t give you any more information than that?” Lavi asked, his solitary green eye trained on Allen’s hunched form.

“No, nothing. He told me to enjoy the time I had left before the curse took over.”

Lavi clenched his jaw and let out a derisive huff. “Some fucking guardian he is.”

Letting out a soft laugh, Allen grabbed his coffee again and pulled it close to lips for another sip. “There’s no point in getting upset over it. You know as well as I do that he’s always been like that.”

“Right.” Biting the inside of his cheek, Lavi refrained from arguing with Allen over it. There wasn’t a point to it—not when they had bigger issues at hand. “Well, regardless of what he said, I’m certain there’s a cure. And I promise that I’ll find it for you.”

Allen met Lavi’s gaze properly for the first time that night, his silver eyes wide. “Really?”

“Hey, I wasn’t first in my class for nothing.” Lavi stood up, coffee in hand, and gave Allen a reassuring smile. “I’ll start researching tonight.”

“Lavi, I…” Allen trailed off, his voice catching in his throat. Averting his eyes, he took a moment to compose himself before speaking again. “Thank you.”

With a nod, Lavi snatched his laptop off one of the piles of books on the coffee table and tucked it under his arm. “I’ll go get started. You can camp out here on the sofa for the night.” He gestured towards the kitchen with his mug as he picked his way through the cluttered mess on the floor. “There’s more food in the fridge if you want. And feel free to use the shower, too. No offense, but you kinda look like hell warmed over.”

“I feel like it,” Allen admitted. He paused for a moment, cheeks flushed and eyes damp. “Lavi… Thank you so much.”

Allen’s voice cut like a knife, sharp and hot, right through Lavi’s chest. He faltered for a moment, making the mistake of looking back at his former lover. “Hey, it’s no problem,” he managed to say, voice nearly cracking from the effort. Turning away, he continued towards his bedroom down the hall. “I’ll let you know what I find in the morning.”

He didn’t wait for a reply as he hurried into his room, shutting the door and rushing to his unmade bed. Setting his coffee on the cluttered nightstand, he sat with his back against the headboard and opened the laptop.

Lavi didn’t even know exactly where to start, only that he knew he would need supplies, and possibly a few spell compendiums on eradicating curses. However, as thirty minutes turned into an hour, he realized he would need more time than available to him. With a sigh, he dug his phone out of his pocket, opened the lock screen, and pulled up a text chat he hadn’t touched in months.

**Lavi:** hey I need a favor

The reply didn’t come right away. Lavi set his phone down, going back to his laptop as he searched through more and more articles and spells. When his phone finally buzzed, he opened the message and frowned at the screen.

**Dick for Brains:** let me guess? you got an itch that needs scratching?

Lavi let out a heavy sigh and shook his head before replying.

**Lavi:** a real favor, jackass. I need you to watch the store for me tomorrow morning

**Dick for Brains:** boring, call me when you want sex

Rubbing his good eye, Lavi took a moment to compose himself before he asked again.

**Lavi:** please? I really need this favor. I’ll be back before noon. I just need you to watch the store for a few hours. I’ll even pay you

**Dick for Brains:** wow you must be desperate. fine, but I want pancakes and a blowjob when I get there

**Lavi:** no

**Dick for Brains:** okay just pancakes

Giving up on the conversation for the night, Lavi shoved his phone under one of his pillows and went back to his laptop. He’d deal with that mess tomorrow.

 

xXxXxXx

 

Lavi woke late the next morning, sun creeping in past the edges of his curtains and his laptop dead and still open on his lap. With a groan, he sat up and felt a stab of pain in the crook of his neck. That was what he got for falling asleep while still researching, but it didn’t improve his mood any. He eyed the cold, stale coffee at his bedside, still untouched from last night, before closing his laptop and dragging himself out of bed.

Forgoing his normal morning shower, he stripped out of his dirty clothes and pulled on some fresh ones. After grabbing his wallet, phone, and keys, he ran a hand through his hair and stepped into the living room.

The smell of eggs and bacon filled the air, and Lavi’s stomach growled appreciatively at the scent. It was nearly nine, and he hadn’t eaten anything since lunch yesterday. Hesitantly, he entered the kitchen looking for the source of that appetizing smell, and saw what had to have been a miracle. The entire kitchen had been cleaned—floors swept and mopped, dishes washed and dried, and stove and countertops cleaned and organized. Allen was at the stove, finishing up a few fried eggs. When he caught sight of Lavi, he smiled nervously.

“I hope you don’t mind. I was looking for some breakfast and—well—I kind of cleaned a bit.”

“A bit might be an understatement.” Lavi ran his fingers over the now cleaned countertops, astounded. “I forgot what color these were.”

Allen chuckled softly, turning back to the stove. He had two plates out, bacon and toast already cooked and waiting as he added the eggs. “I hope you’re joking.”

“Maybe half joking. Seventy percent, tops.” Allen had brewed a fresh pot of coffee as well, and Lavi helped himself to a mug.

“Here,”Allen said, handing him one of the plates.

“Thanks.” Lavi took it, a strange feeling curling around his heart. This domestic tableau reminded him too much of how things used to be—before Allen disappeared, before Lavi’s heart had been broken.

“You know,” he began, a lump growing in his throat as he poked the fork into his egg, the sunshine yellow yolk spilling out and oozing over his bacon and toast. “You didn’t have to do this.”

Allen paused as he looked down at his breakfast, that same nervous smile on his face. He picked at the bandages covering his left hand. “It’s the least I can do, considering…”

“Don’t worry about that,” Lavi replied, the hollow sentiment spilling off his tongue so quickly that he didn’t register the words until they hung in the air between them. He shoved the food into his mouth and turned back to his coffee, hoping to find something to distract himself with. “You, ah… You’re wearing the same clothes as yesterday?”

Allen picked at his food, not meeting Lavi’s gaze. “I don’t have any others.”

Resisting the urge to sigh, Lavi bit into a piece of crispy bacon, that tension in his chest refusing to abate. “I’ll lend you some. I think I have a few things that might fit you.”

“ _Might_ being the keyword,” Allen replied, his nervous smile softening into something warmer, something real.

Shaking his head, Lavi set his plate on the counter and took his coffee with him as he headed back to his bedroom. “Eat your breakfast. I’ll go find you something that doesn’t smell like a dumpster.”

Retreating back to his bedroom, Lavi closed the door and leaned back against the cold wood. Closing his good eye, he sighed, heart still beating too fast and his hands trembling as if he’d been dunked in ice water. No matter how he distracted himself or how friendly he was, everything felt fake—forced. Allen didn’t seem like himself, or at least how Lavi remembered him. And Lavi… Well, he felt like he was sixteen again—a boy with a crush and unable to do anything about it. But now, time had cast a harsh light on his memories, and he knew better. He’d learned. He didn’t want to feel anything for Allen anymore—he wanted this damned curse business to be done with so Allen could leave and go back to wherever he’d been hiding for four long years. Then, Lavi could get his life back to normal. He could go back to forgetting Allen had existed—forgetting how his heart ached at the mere thought of his soft, angelic face.

“Get your shit together,” Lavi whispered to himself before taking a long swig of his lukewarm coffee. He pushed away from the door and began digging through his closet. He wasn’t sure how long he spent searching for old clothes that would fit Allen’s much smaller frame, but by the time he returned, Allen had finished his food, and Lavi’s own plate had gone cold. He didn’t bother reheating it while Allen changed in the bathroom. Instead, he downed the food and finished off his cooling cup of coffee. By the time Allen returned, they were ready to leave.

“C’mon. We have to go buy supplies—and apparently find you some clothes that actually fit.”

“It’s fine, Lavi. I’ll make do.” Even as Allen said it, he had to pull the spare jeans Lavi had loaned him up around his hips, tightening the belt another notch.

“Trust me when I say you can’t go around looking like that.”

“You know I can’t pay you back, right? I don’t have any money.”

“I figured,” Lavi said as they headed for the door. “But the less suspicious you look, the better. We can’t have anyone finding out about your curse, or the CROWs will be here before we know it.”

Allen pulled at the too large shirt before wrapping up in his jacket. “What about Bookman?”

“He’s off on assignment. We have the place to ourselves for a few weeks. That should be enough time to get you straightened out.” As they filed out of the apartment, Lavi locked the door behind him and headed for the stairs leading to the shop below.

“Wait,” Allen asked, zipping up his jacket as they walked. “If we’re going out, who’s watching the shop?”

Lavi’s pace faltered. He cleared his throat, refusing to look back at Allen as they reached the bottom of the stairs. “Just an old friend.”

They entered the shop, and Lavi turned on the light switch as they passed the threshold. Lavi went about his morning routine—pulling open the shades, unlocking the door, and turning on all the lights in the shop. The morning sun streamed through the smudged front windows, illuminating dust motes in the shafts of light that spilled through the glass. Allen hung back near the front desk, fingers running along the edge of the wood as he watched Lavi work.

Jasper hopped up onto the front desk, staring at Allen with those wide, golden eyes. Allen hesitated before reaching out to the cat with his right hand, fingers brushing against the velvety soft fur on his ears. “You still have him?”

Lavi slipped behind the counter again, pocketing the store keys as he unlocked the cash register and booted up the archaic computer Gramps used to keep track of inventory. He spared a quick glance at Allen and the cat before continuing his morning routine. “Couldn’t get rid of him if I tried,” he admitted. “Pretty sure Gramps cast a longevity spell on him years ago.”

Scratching behind Jasper’s ear, Allen shook his head. “You’re kidding.”

“Nope. He’s had Jasper for longer than I can remember. I don’t even know how old he is for sure.” He took a moment to stroke Jasper’s back, and the cat arched into the touch, purring in delight.

They continued petting the cat, charmed by his congenial nature. Jasper fought for their touches, rubbing himself against their hands and arms as they stroked him. Lavi swallowed down the anxious feeling that bubbled up in his stomach each time his fingers brushed against Allen’s.

“Are we leaving soon?” Allen asked suddenly, pulling Lavi out of his thoughts.

“As soon as my backup arrives,” Lavi answered, his green eye still trained on the cat.

“And who exactly is your backup?”

Lavi froze, fingers hovering just over Jasper’s ears. Before he could answer, the front door opened—the bell ringing cheerfully as it alerted them to a new customer. When he looked up, he saw the subject of their conversation stroll into the store, wearing a cocky grin and a surprised look on his face.

“My, my, my… What is this? A little lost bird found his way home?” Tyki asked, head tilted to the side as he joined the two of them at the front desk.

Lavi watched Allen from the corner of his eye, and saw him flinch at the greeting. However, instead of answering Tyki, he ignored him and focused his attention on Jasper.

“What? No hello?” Tyki asked, leaning against the counter and staring at Allen with a smirk on his face. “Not even a hug, for old time’s sake?”

Unable to deal with Tyki’s antics, Lavi pulled Allen towards the door. “You remember how everything works, right? We’ll only be gone a few hours.”

Tyki watched them scurry off, his eyebrows pinched tight even as he continued to grin. “Please, like anyone will even show up to buy anything.”

Lavi ignored the slight and continued towards the front door. “Don’t steal anything—I’ll know!”

“Hey, Red. Before you go, you might want to give me the password for this old dinosaur here.” He gestured towards the computer.

With a sigh, Lavi turned on his heel and let go of Allen’s arm, heading back towards the desk. “Hang on, Allen. I’ll be right back.” He gave Tyki an unamused look before logging into the inventory computer.

Tyki glanced over at Allen for a split second before leaning into Lavi’s shoulder and whispering in his ear. “What’s he doing back in town?”

Lavi swallowed, his skin prickling with goosebumps as Tyki’s breath ghosted over his skin. “He wanted to see me. What’s it to you?”

Tyki shrugged and pulled away, but kept close enough to converse without Allen hearing. “Not my business, as you said. I’m just worried.”

“Worried? You?” Lavi scoffed, focusing on the computer and pulling up the normal programs for his daily tasks. “What have you done with the real Tyki Mikk?”

He expected Tyki to give up, to joke around with him like he normally did, but instead all he received was a concerned look and a serious reply. “Look, Red. You and I both know that boy makes you not think straight.”

“Not much makes me think straight at this point.” Lavi moved to walk past Tyki and leave, but he crossed his arm in front of him and grabbed the edge of the desk, blocking his path and keeping him trapped.

“You can hide behind all the jokes and fake smiles you want, but it won’t change the fact that that boy’s always had you wrapped around his finger.”

Sighing, Lavi finally looked Tyki in the eyes, face set in a stern glare. “I appreciate the concern, but it’s fine. Just let me leave. And don’t tell anyone he’s here. I don’t need Lena or Alma getting all…worried. It’s weird enough coming from you.”

Tyki pulled his arm back, letting Lavi pass. “Don’t worry. I’ll keep your little rendezvous secret, Red. But if you need help taking out the trash, give me a call.”

Lavi gave him a sly smile as he pushed past him and headed back towards the storefront. “I suppose you already take yourself out so easily. You’ve got all that practice.”

When Tyki replied this time, he grinned like an asshole and raised his voice to make sure Allen heard him as well. “I suppose since the boy’s here, you won’t get drinks with me this weekend?”

“Shove off, Tyki,” Lavi replied, not bothering to look back.

“Is that any way to talk to someone who’s doing you a favor?” Tyki called back, watching as they slipped out the front door.

“It is when it’s you.” Lavi glared at him before slamming the door behind him.

Cool, damp air greeted them as they walked down the street, puddles from last night’s rain still filling each pothole and divot in the streets and sidewalks. Allen kept up with Lavi’s pace, glancing up at him every so often as they walked down the block in silence. It wasn’t until they had crossed the street that Allen spoke up, as if he were afraid Tyki could still hear them if they were too close.

“Why did you call Tyki to mind the store?”

Lavi bit the inside of his lip, keeping his gaze ahead of him. “Because I can trust that he won’t ask prying questions, and he won’t rat us out.” Shoving his hands into his coat pockets, he hunched up his shoulders, protecting his neck from the cold breeze on the wind.

A heavy silence fell between them, and Allen tucked his chin deep into the collar of his jacket as they continued down the street. “I didn’t know you two had gotten so close.”

“Well,” Lavi began, still keeping his gaze focused ahead of them, not wanting to catch Allen’s eye. “A lot can happen in four years.”

Allen, however, had no such reservations. He watched Lavi, silver eyes unwavering. “Are you two…?”

Lavi’s fingers twitched in his pockets as he felt his mouth dry up at the question. “It’s complicated.”

They kept walking, the tension in the air between them growing with each passing second. When it was obvious Allen had no intentions of speaking on the matter again, Lavi cleared his throat and kicked at a loose stone on the sidewalk. “Let’s just… get the shopping over with.”

 “Okay,” he mumbled back, ducking his head down and staring at the sidewalk.

The muted reaction only made the guilt in Lavi’s heart flare up again, and he fought to bury that feeling deep in his guts. Ever since Allen had shown up, his emotions were all over the place, and as much as it pained him to admit, Tyki might have been right—even after all these years, Allen still had him wrapped around his finger.

 

xXxXxXx

 

_Allen_ _’s tiny body wiggled through the open window with ease, and Lavi watched him with concern—half that his grandfather would hear him letting his friend into his room so late on a school night, half that Allen would hurt himself as he made his way through the window. “I can’t believe you made it up the fire escape so easily,” he mumbled peering down at the rickety old contraption once Allen had cleared the window._

_“Thanks for letting me stay,” Allen said as he ambled to his feet, grabbing the backpack he’d thrown in before him off the floor. “I can’t handle another night of listening to Cross and that lady he hooked up with.”_

_Lavi winced at the mention of Allen_ _’s guardian. They’d only been friends for a few months, but he’d heard and seen enough of Cross Marian’s exploits to know Allen wasn’t exaggerating. “No problem. Things aren’t quite so… noisy over here. You should be able to get some sleep.” He closed the window again, keeping out the chilly night air. Autumn had recently taken hold, and as the leaves turned vivid colors, the air grew sharp and bitter. It was a wonder how Allen managed to make it all the way across town in nothing but a sweatshirt and jeans._

_“I should sleep over more often, then,” Allen said, keeping his voice low as he kicked off his shoes._

_“I’d like that—” Lavi said, then flushed as he realized how he’d phrased his words. “I mean, that would be fun, I guess.”_

_Allen only smiled back at him, pulling off his sweatshirt and jeans, then shoving it into his bag._ _“Where can I sleep?”_

_Lavi looked at his bed and bit the inside of his cheek. Shit, he hadn_ _’t even considered that. He had no extra blankets or bedding, and he doubted Allen wanted to share the mattress. It was small and cramped. After a moment’s thought, he sighed. “You can take the bed,” he said, grabbing his phone off the nightstand. “I’ll go sleep on the couch in the living room. I’ve done that enough times that Gramps shouldn’t question it.”_

_Before he could leave, Allen grabbed his wrist, cold fingers curling over his warm flesh._ _“That’s not really fair, is it? It’s your bed.”_

_“Yeah, but I can’t exactly offer you the couch. Gramps would notice a strange kid camping out on the sofa.” Lavi gave him an awkward grin and shrugged his shoulders. “The floor is too cold and uncomfortable—and I doubt we could find a place for you to sleep with all this junk lying around.”_

_“You really should clean,” Allen said, chuckling softly to himself as he peered down at the cluttered floor. “But, you know, you could just share the bed with me. I don’t mind.”_

_Lavi_ _’s heart skipped a beat at Allen’s suggestion. “I-I shouldn’t, really.”_

_“Why?” Allen asked, tugging on Lavi’s wrist and pulling him closer. A wicked grin spread along his lips. “Don’t you wanna fool around?”_

_Lavi flushed head to toe, his back ramrod straight as he avoided Allen_ _’s gaze. “No—I—” He tried to pull away again, but Allen’s grip stayed true._

_“Lavi, I’m not blind and I’m not stupid.” He grabbed the redhead’s other hand in his, tangling their fingers together. Lavi swallowed at the closeness, his throat tight with nerves. “I’ve noticed how you look at me, and unless I’ve completely lost the ability to read people, you’re interested.”_

_“I’m—I’m—” Lavi couldn’t get his words out, stuttering too much as his brain attempted to cook itself in his skull. He swallowed, his tongue feeling too big for his mouth as he struggled to form a complete sentence. “You… You can’t just lay that on me like it’s no big deal.”_

_“Is it a big deal?”_

_“How can you ask that when I’ve been secretly pining over you since we met?” Lavi blurted out, immediately regretting his admission._

_Allen snickered._ _“Trust me, it was_ not _a secret._ _”_

_Lavi was certain his face looked as bright as a cherry tomato by that point._ _“Then why didn’t you say something?”_

_Grinning, Allen leaned in against Lavi, their bodies flush together._ _“Because it was cute watching you squirm.”_

_Lavi slapped a hand over his face, completely mortified._ _“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” he mumbled under his breath, shoulders slumped._

_“Hey.” Before Lavi could look down, Allen already pulled him back towards his bed. “If I wasn’t clear enough, I like you, too.”_

_“I’m starting to figure that out, thanks,” Lavi replied, a bite of snark in his voice._

_Allen grinned as he sat down on the edge of the mattress, one hand still gripping Lavi_ _’s. “So, what do you say? Wanna make out or whatever?”_

_Lavi glared down at him._ _“Y’know, you could’ve been a bit more romantic or something? The way you said it is so… blunt.”_

_“Oh, you mean something more like this?” Allen began, clearing his throat and wiping the amused look off his face. He stared up into Lavi’s face, eyes full of stars. “Lavi, my heart yearns for you. My thoughts are always on you, no matter the time or day. Let us make love tonight.”_

_If he could_ _’ve turned a brighter shade of red, Lavi knew he would’ve after that ridiculous proclamation. “Never mind. I prefer the other way better.”_

_“Is that a yes?” Allen asked, the sly smirk returning to his face._

_With a sigh, Lavi slid into bed next to Allen, struggling with the blankets._ _“I’m starting to wonder why I like you in the first place.”_

_Allen hummed to himself as Lavi settled in next to him, the smile on his face never wavering. He reached out, one hand cupping Lavi_ _’s cheek as they faced each other in the tiny bed, legs tangling together. “Maybe I can remind you?” Slowly, Allen moved forward, pressing their lips together in a soft, firm kiss._

_Lavi whined in the back of his throat as they kissed, his heart hammering in his chest at the gentle affection. He hadn_ _’t imagined his first kiss with Allen to be like this, but as their bodies pressed against each other, he realized this was more than the late night machinations of his mind._

_“Mm,” Allen mumbled as he pulled away, gazing into Lavi’s good eye. “Maybe I won’t be getting much sleep tonight after all.”_

_Lavi parted his lips to complain again about Allen_ _’s shitty comments, only to have Allen’s lips back on his own, and this time around—his tongue in his mouth._

xXxXxXx

 

“Do you think this will work?” Allen asked, staring down at the grimoire on the coffee table. He scratched at his hand, the scaly skin itching as if bugs were crawling just under it. He’d kept it bandaged all day, even after they’d returned from shopping for supplies. They’d made stops at multiple stores to get the essentials—food, clothes that actually fit Allen, and supplies for breaking curses.

While Lavi minded the store all day, he kept his nose shoved in every spellbook and grimoire he could find about breaking curses. He’d come up with a few plans on how to tackle the curse on Allen’s left arm, and as soon as he’d closed the shop, they’d begun preparations.

“If it doesn’t, we have other options. I want to try this method first before doing something more dangerous.” Lavi lit a pile of dried bay leaves in a large abalone shell until the smoke wafted up in thick clouds. He handed the shell to Allen before kneeling down next to the coffee table to look over his notes. “Here—breathe this in and let the smoke cover you as best you can. I’ll set up the candle.”

They had cleared a large space on the hardwood floor in the living room. Allen had spent most of his day reorganizing the cluttered mess to give them the space to work.

Lavi had drawn a protection circle in the center of the cleared space, and set a small mirror, no bigger than the size of his palm, in the middle. He worked at the coffee table, holding a single white candle in his hand and carving intricate sigils into the wax.

Allen stood awkwardly next to him, shifting back and forth on his feet and looking over Lavi’s shoulder as he tried to decipher some of the sigils he drew. Smoke from the bay leaves curled around him, the strong scent clinging to his clothes and hair. He fanned the burning embers every so often, keeping them lit, but he couldn’t focus on his task when Lavi’s quick work with the penknife drew his attention.

After Lavi finished with the sigils, he took a slow breath and rolled the candle in oil. The slick yellow substance smoothed over the wax with ease, filling each carved mark as Lavi anointed the candle. Once the candle had been thoroughly covered, he moved it to a plate with oregano and black pepper spread across it. With a careful touch, Lavi rolled the candle in the herbs until the wax had been coated completely. When he finished, he entered the circle and placed the candle in the center of the mirror. His gaze turned to Allen. “Ready.”

Allen stepped cautiously into the circle, sitting cross-legged on the other side of Lavi. Their eyes met for a moment before Lavi grabbed a match and lit the candle. Goosebumps prickled over their arms and necks, a chill creeping up along their skin. The air hummed with energy as they began.

“Repeat the incantation with me,” Lavi whispered, throat dry and tight as he took Allen’s hands in his, the candle burning between them. When Allen nodded, Lavi began the chant:

_Return to your maker,_

_and leave me in peace._

_Should the way be barred,_

_your power will cease._

As soon as the last word of the incantation was uttered, a gust of wind picked up in the room, despite all the windows being firmly shut. The suddenness of the unnatural wind startled them both, and they fought to keep focus and continue the chant. As the second repetition finished, the wind grew stronger, blowing over papers and magazines stacked around the room, hair whipping around their faces as they kept chanting.

On the third recitation, the lights flickered, and one of the standing lamps in the corner knocked over, the bulb and glass shade breaking as it hit the hardwood floor. Allen tried to break contact with Lavi to stop the spell, but Lavi held his hands tighter, unwilling to stop until they’d finished.

As the wind picked up around them, knocking over Lavi’s precariously stacked piles of books, Lavi repeated the incantation again for the fourth time. “ _Return to your_ —” Before he could finish the first line, the mirror under the candle shattered, blowing apart and extinguishing the candle. Allen screamed as darkness blanketed the room. When the lights came back up, Lavi noticed Allen holding his face, blood seeping between his fingers. His heart leapt into his throat. “Allen!”

Heedless of the broken glass and scattered belongings, Lavi crawled across the circle and cupped Allen’s face in his hands. “Let me see.”

Allen hesitantly pulled his hands away from his face, giving Lavi a view of the damage. A piece of glass had cut his cheek, deep enough that the blood was still flowing. “Can you see? Did it get in your eyes?”

Allen swallowed, fingers trembling. “Yeah, I can see. I think it only hit my face.” He watched as Lavi grabbed a cloth from the coffee table and pressed it against his cheek. “I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry for? It’s not your fault the spell backfired. We’ll try something else tomorrow.” He dabbed at the wound, then checked it again before pressing the cloth back against Allen’s face. “C’mon. I’ll help you clean up, and make sure you don’t have any glass in your face.”

“Thank you,” Allen replied, standing with Lavi and taking the cloth from him.

They headed to the bathroom, stepping around the broken glass and misplaced items scattered over the floor. When they reached the room, Lavi motioned for Allen to sit down, then searched through the cabinet under the sink until he found the first aid kit. “Here.” He took the cloth away and wiped at Allen’s face with cotton balls soaked in peroxide.

Allen winced, but didn’t complain, his fingers tightening in the fabric of his pants. “What do you think went wrong?”

“Not sure,” Lavi admitted, his single, green eye focused on Allen’s face as he meticulously cleaned the wound. The blood had already stopped flowing as fast as before, and when he was satisfied that no glass remained in the cut, he reached for the ointment and gauze.

“Maybe Cross was right. Maybe the curse can’t be broken.”

Lavi affixed the bandage before pulling back and glaring at Allen. “That’s not helpful.”

Absently, Allen scratched at his left hand, hiking up his sleeve. “No, but it’s realistic.”

He was about to snap back at Allen, to chide him for his fatalistic rambling, but he caught sight of the demonic marks on his arm, and his breath froze in his chest. “Al, your hand.”

Looking down, Allen eyed the marked flesh. He stiffened up, body tense as he bit his lip. “It’s spreading.” The black and red skin, once just past his wrist, now curled along his forearm all the way up to his elbow. Allen let out a sigh, silver eyes fixated on his marked arm.

Seeing the spiraling thoughts in Allen’s widened gaze, Lavi grabbed his chin and forced him to meet his gaze. Tears clung to Allen’s eyelashes, and the sight left Lavi’s chest tight. “Hey, listen to me. I told you I would cure you, and I mean it. It’s just a minor setback. We’ll get through this.”

“Lavi, I don’t think—”

“Do you trust me?”

Allen paused as Lavi cut off his words, eyes still damp but unwavering as he stared back at Lavi. “I do.”

“Then trust that I can do this. I’ll break this curse. I promise.”

Unable to hold his gaze, Allen pulled his chin from Lavi’s grip and looked away. “Okay.”

Lavi suspected Allen didn’t believe him, and to tell the truth, he couldn’t blame him. With this first attempt turning into a monumental disaster, had their positions been reversed, he wouldn’t have trusted himself either. But his confidence would not be deterred. He knew he would cure Allen of this curse—he didn’t have a choice.

Lavi took Allen’s hands, uncaring of the flaking, cracked skin on his left. “Let’s go clean the mess we made, then I’ll order some pizza. After we cleanse the apartment, we can search for another spell to try tomorrow. Sound good?”

With a small, hesitant nod, Allen stood and let Lavi pull him back to the living room. “I like the sound of that.”

 

xXxXxXx

 

The week brought about a new routine for Lavi—waking to the smell of freshly cooked breakfast in the morning, tending to the store during the day and researching more ways to break Allen’s curse, and casting spell after spell at night in the hopes of finally succeeding. Each spell they attempted to cast either backfired or fizzled out, leaving Lavi to research older, esoteric methods of curse breaking. He had to remind himself that even if the spells seemed odd and outdated, he couldn’t ignore any possibilities.

Though, it was hard to remind himself of that fact when he spent his Saturday night in chest deep water.

Lavi sighed in relief as they returned to the apartment, his hair still damp from the late night escapade in the river. “Okay, I promise we won’t be trying any more spells involving freezing water,” he said, kicking off his shoes at the entryway before collapsing on the couch in the living room.

Allen moved slower, still wrapped up in his thin jacket. “I’ll send you my thanks when I get feeling back in my fingers.” He joined Lavi on the couch, teeth still clacking together as he shivered. As soon as he sat down, he grabbed a blanket and curled it around his chest.

They’d traveled to the nearest river, Lavi having to borrow Lenalee’s car just to make the trip out into the country, and attempted another cleansing spell. After chanting the spell and wading out in frigid water for twenty minutes, they were no closer to breaking Allen’s curse than they had been since he’d arrived. All they earned for their efforts was an ice cold dip in the river and the increased likelihood of catching a cold.

Lavi turned a concerned eye to Allen. Even wrapped up in blankets and his jacket, he looked chilled to the bone. His lips were still a faint shade of blue, and his pale skin gave off a sickly hue. “Are you okay?”

Allen closed his eyes and nodded. “Y-Yeah. I’m f-fine.”

Not believing his piss-poor performance, Lavi leaned over and pressed a hand to Allen’s forehead. He flinched back in shock. “Jesus, Al. You feel like a goddamn ice cube.”

He gave Lavi a forced smile, pulling the blankets tighter around himself. “It’s n-not that b-bad.”

Lavi glared at Allen before standing up and heading back to the kitchen. “Don’t play this off. You might actually have hypothermia.”

Yanking the teapot off the stove, he rushed to fill it with water, then set it on the burner. He searched his cabinets for the largest mug he had, then raided Gramps’ tea stash. By the time he’d found a bag of earl grey, the kettle began to sing. As he plopped the tea bag into the mug and poured in the steaming hot water, Lavi heard Allen shuffle around in the living room.

“I-I’m fine, Lavi. Please, d-don’t make a f-fuss.” Allen continued to stutter his words as he struggled to stand, only to fall back on the couch cushions.

“I’ve heard that before,” Lavi commented as he sat down next to Allen and handed him the mug. “Here—drink this. All of it.”

Allen sighed, wrapping his hands around the hot ceramic. Pulling the mug to his lips, he took a tentative sip, and sighed again, this time with gratitude. “T-Thank you, Lavi.”

“Don’t thank me yet,” he said, resting his hand on Allen’s forehead as he felt for his temperature. He was still way too cold, dangerously so. “Okay. Nope. This isn’t good, Al. Why didn’t you say something? We were in that water for so long and you didn’t tell me you were freezing?”

Allen finished a slow gulp of tea before answering. “I-I thought if I j-just held out a little longer, it m-might work.”

“Well, we have to get your temperature up before you go into shock.” Lavi stood, rushing straight to the thermostat and turning it up all the way. Allen watched him as he fumbled around the apartment, grabbing blankets and dragging them into his bedroom.

“L-Lavi,” Allen asked, struggling to stand and keep his tea from spilling. “What are y-you doing?”

When he emerged again, Lavi grabbed the tea from Allen’s hands and helped him to his bedroom. “I’m going to warm you up.” They slowly made their way to the bedroom, carefully picking over the mess on Lavi’s floor. He set Allen’s tea on the night stand, then turned back to face him. “Take off your clothes.”

Allen laughed, a tired smile spreading over his lips. “Excuse me?”

Not waiting for him to comply, Lavi began to pull off the clothes and blankets swathed around Allen’s tiny frame. “The best way to warm your body up is to do it slowly—and skin on skin contact is the best thing I’ve got right now.”

“Y-You could’ve at least b-bought me dinner first,” Allen joked, letting Lavi strip him down to his boxers before doing the same to himself. He sat down and watched as Lavi stripped, cheeks flushed light pink as he averted his silver eyes.

“You can make all the jokes you want after you’re no longer a popsicle.” Lavi lifted the bedding and helped Allen under it before joining him in bed.

Yanking the blankets over them, Lavi settled into the mattress and pulled Allen in close. Their naked skin pressed together, and he yelped as Allen’s frozen limbs touched him. “Shit—Al, how are you this cold?”

Allen fell into the awkward embrace, tucking his head under Lavi’s chin. “Oh, I-I don’t know,” Allen began, sarcasm thick in his trembling voice. “I-It might have s-something to do with that dip in the r-river we t-took.”

“Sorry,” Lavi grumbled, wrapping his arms around Allen and hugging him closer. “I thought it might work.”

“It’s okay. I know you’re trying your best to find a cure,” Allen mumbled back, his face hidden against Lavi’s neck. His stuttering slowly eased as he warmed himself against Lavi’s body, hands splayed on the redhead’s back and sides. “This is nice, though… Like before.”

The close proximity was intimate—and it was only after Allen whispered out his last words that Lavi realized how close they really were. They hadn’t shared a bed in four years, hadn’t touched each other with more than a fleeting brush of skin. The way Allen’s body fit up against his was achingly familiar, and memories skittered across his mind like leaves on the wind. He remembered warmth and sweetness and love—so much love for the person curled up in his arms. But with those tender memories came the bitterness, the reminder that it had all ended at the drop of a pin.

Lavi swallowed, his throat tight as he fought between the emotions warring in his chest. But even with that residual anger gnawing on his insides, it was hard to not enjoy the closeness. “Yeah,” he whispered back, burying his nose in Allen’s hair. “Are you getting warmer?”

“Mm, I am.” Allen sighed, his breath ghosting over Lavi’s neck and chest. “Thank you.”

Lavi hummed a reply, closing his eye and sinking deeper into their embrace. “I’ll freshen your tea when you warm up some more.”

“Okay,” Allen replied, his voice softer than before. Lavi rubbed his back, softly chaffing the skin until it warmed under his hands. His feet and hands were still cold, but his torso had already begun to heat up from their shared warmth.

“Al? Are you falling asleep?” Lavi asked, his voice harsh against the silence in the bedroom.

“Mm. A little,” he admitted, his breath slowing down and evening out. He buried his face in Lavi’s neck. “I missed this.”

The words were whispered so softly that Lavi almost thought he’d imagined them. His heart thudded in his chest, beating furiously as he flushed against the admission. Allen spoke those words so easily, as if they could slide off his tongue like melted butter. But Lavi—he swallowed down the words he wanted to say, the words he couldn’t admit to Allen, the words he couldn’t admit to himself—

_Me too._

 

xXxXxXx

 

Lavi knew he was a coward— _a damned, foolish coward_ —but he’d never felt as claustrophobic as when he’d woken up with Allen still curled up at his side. The previous night’s events had come hurtling back at him like a baseball to the face. Luckily for him, Allen was fast asleep at 8AM, and it gave Lavi the opportunity to slink out of bed, throw on some clothes and slip out of the apartment without facing his thoughts or emotions until later.

He had an hour until he needed to open the shop, which gave him just enough time to run his errand.

The late autumn air chilled his nose, and he buried it deep in his orange scarf as he hurried down the street. Twenty minutes in the cold was enough to turn his cheeks and nose rosy, and when he entered the shop, he let out a sigh of relief as the warm air greeted his frozen skin. He closed the door tight behind him and headed straight to the front desk. A familiar face looked up, amusement and surprise in his golden eyes.

“Well,” Tyki began, setting his steaming mug of coffee back on the counter. “To what do I owe this visit?”

“I need a few things.” Lavi rubbed at his good eye and mentally ran through the list in his head.

Tyki leaned in, elbows on the glass top as he eyed the redhead. “Oh? It’s a bit early for that, but I can make time for you.”

Lavi ignored his behavior, refusing to meet his lustful gaze. “I need dragon’s blood, vetivert oil, agrimony, and toadflax.”

“And I’ll need some lube and a condom, unless you’re still into barebacking.”

Biting back a scathing comment, Lavi continued to ignore Tyki’s baiting. He moved to the shelf on the far wall, grabbing polished stones from the sectioned boxes. “If you have more obsidian and tourmaline in back, I’ll take it. And amber, too.”

With a groan, Tyki dropped his head to the counter, a loud _thunk_ resonating through the small store. “He’s still here, isn’t he?”

Lavi continued to pick stones from the display, shoving them in his coat pocket when he couldn’t hold them anymore. “You’ll have to be more specific.”

“That boy—Allen Walker.” Tyki straightened out, pinching the bridge of his nose as he sighed. He turned around and scanned the shelves behind the front counter, grabbing the herbs Lavi had asked for.

“What about him?”

“He’s still squatting at your apartment, isn’t he?”

Lavi’s eyebrow twitched in annoyance, his fingers smoothing over the piece of labradorite he’d just picked up. “He’s not squatting.”

“Then what’s he still doing here?” Tyki asked, lining each herb-filled jar on the counter as he sent concerned looks towards Lavi’s back. “Is he staying in town?”

“I don’t know.” It was the truth, or as much of it that Lavi was comfortable parting with. He hadn’t given much thought of Allen sticking around after all was said and done. They had more pressing matters to deal with, and the curse crawling up Allen’s arm wouldn’t wait for them to get their shit together.

“C’mon, Red,” Tyki began, using that tired, old nickname. “Please don’t tell me you’re falling for him again. You know how that story already ends—heartache and misery. And if you throw yourself at him again, I’m not going to stick around to sweep up the pieces.”

“How gracious,” Lavi mumbled, still picking out stones. “But I assure you that we’re not getting together. He just needed some help with something. I’m sure when it’s taken care of, he’ll be on his way again.” Even as Lavi spoke, flashes of last night and this morning spilled into his mind, unbidden, and he couldn’t believe his own words any more than Tyki did.

“Sounds like a pile of horse shit to me.”

“Well, you don’t have to smell it for long,” Lavi said, finally turning back to the counter and unloading all the stones he’d collected. They pinged against the glass as he dropped them haphazardly in front of Tyki.

With a dubious look, Tyki grabbed a bag from under the register and began packing them away. “What are you two up to?” he asked, watching Lavi as he sorted through the stones.

“Nothing you need to concern yourself with.” Lavi chewed on the inside of his cheek as he leveled his gaze at Tyki. “And what about the obsidian?”

“That’s all I have,” Tyki said, a curt snap in his voice. “How much of the herbs and oil do you want?”

“All of it.”

“Cleaning me out of my stock, hm? What do you need all this for, anyway?”

“Just a little spell practice,” Lavi said—not a lie, but not the whole truth, either.

Tyki sucked at his teeth, filling up the bags and sorting through Lavi’s purchases. They didn’t speak after that, the air between them simmering as Lavi impatiently waited for Tyki to finish ringing up his purchases.

After Lavi paid—in cash, like always—he reached for his bags, only to have them pulled out of reach. His eyes met Tyki’s, and saw the hint of frustration hidden in his golden irises. He bit the inside of his lip, shifting uncomfortably as he stared back at Tyki. “Can I have my things?”

Ignoring the question, Tyki set his jaw and leaned in over the counter. “Lavi, what is going on?”

His forwardness and the lack of levity in his voice shook Lavi. He paused, fingers twitching as he broke off eye contact. “Nothing. It’s nothing, I swear.”

“You’re a shitty liar.”

“Tyki, just give me my stuff so I can go. I have to open the shop.”

The plea fell on deaf ears as Tyki continued to stare him down. “You can have you things when you tell me the real reason why you’re letting Allen stay with you.”

Lavi’s brows scrunched up in agitation, and he reached for the bags, only to have Tyki pull them further away. “It’s none of your business.” Anger coated his voice, thick and heavy like molasses, as he glared back at him.

“Someone has to stop you from doing stupid shit until your grandfather gets back.”

Lavi scoffed. “The day _you_ are the more responsible one between us is the day I eat my own heart.”

A hint of amusement touched Tyki’s lips. “Then I suggest you grab a fork, because it’s dinner time.”

Fed up with the interrogation, Lavi lurched forward to snatch his bags from Tyki’s hand, nearly tearing them in the process. When he had his purchases, he turned and headed out the door, throwing a lewd hand gesture over his shoulder as he stalked out of the store.

 

xXxXxXx

 

The tangy smell of salt and herbs wafted up off the hot water. Steam fogged the mirror above the sink and the tightly shut windows, hovering in the air as Lavi continued to fill the tub. Stones lined the ceramic edge, following the same alternating pattern—obsidian, tourmaline, amber, labradorite—creating a circle around the tub. Magic hummed in the air as Lavi prepared the bath, though, part of him wondered if the niggling feeling at the back of his skull had more to do with Allen’s presence than the spell.

Shutting off the water, Lavi stood, knees damp from the tiled floor. He turned to Allen, who sat on the closed toilet seat, dressed only in a loaned robe from Lavi’s wardrobe. “Ready?”

“As ready as I ever am,” Allen replied, slowly undoing the belt cinched around his waist. Lavi averted his gaze as Allen undressed, and moved away from the bathtub. When the robe hit the floor, he stepped into the water, wincing as the hot liquid touched his skin. He didn’t hesitate after that, sinking down into the herbal brew until the water rose to his neck.

Lavi busied himself with the candles on the sink, one black and one white. After anointing the candles in the vetivert oil, he placed them in the small glass holders. He felt Allen’s silver eyes on him as he wiped the excess oil from his fingers. He glanced back at him, checking once more that he was ready before lighting each candle—white to destroy negative energy, black for protection. The damp air hummed with energy as Lavi whispered the spell.

_Air, fire, earth, water_

_Cleanse the body_

_Cleanse the mind_

_Air, fire, earth, water_

_Cleanse the heart_

_Cleanse the soul_

As the words left his lips, the air grew heavy with magic. He turned to Allen, shoving down the unease simmering in his chest until it settled into the pit of his stomach. “You okay?”

“So far, so good.” Allen pulled his knees up to his chest, herbs sticking to his skin as he moved. “I don’t feel any kickback, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

With a nod, Lavi turned away again, brushing back the messy bangs from his face. His skin grew sticky and damp from the wet heat filling the bathroom. “Good. Just wait until the candles burn out. Don’t exit the water early, or you’ll break the spell.”

“Okay.”

“I’ll just… get out of your hair.” He turned to the door, reaching for the knob, when Allen’s soft voice gave him pause.

“Lavi?”

He swallowed, throat tight and shoulders tense. “Yeah?”

“Could you stay? Just for a bit?” Allen hesitated, the only sound between them the soft splash of water as he shifted in the tub. “I don’t want to sit alone.”

Against his better judgment, Lavi gave up on his hasty retreat and sat down on the toilet next to the tub, gaze still blatantly avoiding Allen’s naked form in the too clear water. “Sure. I can stay, if you want me to.”

“Thank you,” Allen mumbled back, sinking back into the water. He closed his eyes, a sigh ghosting past his lips. The ends of his hair floated on the surface, soaking up the herb-infused water.

Unable to stare at the tiles any longer, Lavi hazarded a glance Allen’s way. He fixated on the cursed marks crawling up his left arm, the dark red and black scar marring his pale skin. The mark hadn’t slowed its slow progression up his limb. If anything, Lavi felt his meddling only made things worse, a fact that twisted up his guts like barbed wire.

Allen’s eyes cracked open and he stared up at the stark-white ceiling. “Even if this doesn’t work, at least the bath is nice.”

Lavi chuckled, the sound low and abrupt in the small room, his voice echoing off the tiles. “What can I say? I draw a good bath.”

They fell into silence again—Allen watching the herbs floating along the water’s surface and Lavi staring anywhere but at Allen. Lavi picked at a loose thread on the hem of his shirt, struggling to find something to talk about. Though they’d been in each other’s company for near two weeks now, their interactions always had the same stifled air about them. Lavi couldn’t deny it, not when he knew the tension between them stood like a brick wall—heavy and unmovable.

He bounced between wanting to smash the uncomfortable tension and piling more on. His mood shifted with each hour of the day, sometimes less. Part of him wanted to keep Allen at arm’s length to stop himself from getting hurt again. The rest of him wanted to throw caution to the ground and stomp on it, to let Allen know exactly how he felt and how utterly confused he was at seeing him again. Anger, sadness, joy, frustration—it all hit him at once and hadn’t stopped pummeling him since Allen had arrived. He couldn’t tell where his emotions would lead him one moment to the next, and the lack of stability wore on him like a dog with a bone.

A soft mumbling caught his attention, pulling him from his thoughts. “What?” he asked, missing Allen’s words, too strung up in his own thoughts to hear them.

“Sorry,” he repeated, pulling his knees to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. “This is awkward for you, isn’t it?”

Lavi shrugged, doing his best to ignore the tension between them, the tension growing in his chest. “It’s fine. It’s not like I haven’t seen you naked before.”

Allen snorted, ducking his head and pressing his cheek against his knees as they breached the water’s surface. “I suppose so.” A smile graced his lips, but even in Lavi’s attempt to avoid looking at him, he still saw the sadness barely concealed behind it. There was a pause, hot and suffocating, more overwhelming than the damp air in the bathroom that clung to Lavi’s skin and clothes. “You’re still angry with me.”

The blunt admission made Lavi’s brows twitch, and he leaned back, crossing his arms over his chest. Something burned behind his ribs, acrid and painful like grabbing a hot coal with his bare hands. He had every intention of denying the accusation, but when he opened his mouth, the admission spilled over his tongue like bitter wine. “Why shouldn’t I be? You left and didn’t say a word. Who would forgive you for doing that—for ghosting me after being together for years?”

Allen’s fingers curled around his knees, silver eyes half-lidded as he watched Lavi with an unwavering gaze. “When you put it like that, I can’t exactly disagree.”

Those eyes bore into him like a corkscrew, delving deeper with each passing second. Lavi swallowed, still fixated on tiled floor.

“Why’d you do it?” Lavi asked, the words so sudden that they surprised even himself. He looked back to Allen, meeting his eyes. “Why’d you leave?”

The ghost of a smile on Allen’s face faded. He didn’t move, still clutching his knees to his chest, cheek still resting on his knees. “Why do _you_ think I left?”

Lavi sighed, wiping his face with a hand as he leaned back. “Don’t make me play guessing games with you, Al.”

Allen uncurled his arms from his legs and sat up straight, still staring at Lavi with that haunted look behind his eyes. “I left for you.”

With a snort of derision, Lavi turned away from Allen. His fingers gripped the loose fabric of his jeans, shaking uncontrollable. “I think the fuck not.”

“Lavi,” Allen began, his tone still soft and docile as he watched the redhead. “I left to make things easier on you.”

Clenching his teeth together, Lavi exhaled in the hopes of calming the sudden anger burning in his chest. “So you just… disappeared? Without a word? How did that help me?” He glared back at Allen, face hot with unfocused frustration. “I didn’t know what happened to you—where you went, if you were dead or alive… You just vanished. You didn’t even have the decency to tell me to my face that you wanted to break up with me.”

“I never wanted to break up with you.”

His heart stopped, frozen in his chest as if winter had taken hold of his insides. “What?”

“I left… because I didn’t want to be in the way. I didn’t want to distract you from pursuing your dream of becoming a Bookman.” Allen’s fingers tightened on his knees, but he held his gaze. “I was holding you back. I couldn’t do that to you.”

“You—” Lavi stood, a sudden anxious feeling spreading through his limbs, leaving his skin crawling and itchy. He turned his back on Allen, hands in his hair as he pulled at the strands, fingers tight in red locks until the pinched feeling in his chest eased. He let out a sigh, then a hollow laugh that bounced off the tiled walls of the bathroom. “You thought it was better to leave without a word than to work things out with me?”

Allen watched him from the tub, melancholy etched deep in his features. “It wasn’t fair to make you choose.” He tucked himself deeper in the water, eyes still on Lavi’s back. “So, I chose for you.”

Swallowing down the burning acid in his throat, Lavi dropped his arms to his sides—limp like cooked noodles. He bit his lip, trembling as he fought to keep himself together. “Do me a favor, Al. Don’t ever make a decision for me again.” Before Allen could reply, Lavi left the bathroom and slammed the door shut behind him.

 

xXxXxXx

 

_“You got in?” Allen said the words less of a question and more like an incredulous statement. He stared at Lavi, lips parted as if he had more to say, but the words wouldn’t come._

_“I got the letter today!” Lavi bounded into Allen’s dorm room with excitement. Allen swore he felt it vibrating off the redhead in waves. He didn’t even notice Allen’s hesitation. “They accepted me into the program!”_

_Allen smiled, even as his chest constricted painfully._ _“Congratulations. Being accepted to study as a Bookman is… It’s an honor.”_

_Lavi collapsed on Allen_ _’s bed, the tucked-in sheets coming undone as his weight sunk into the mattress. He stared up at the ceiling, the grin on his face threatening to crack it in two. “Four years and all that hard work actually paid off. I can’t believe they let me in.”_

_“I don’t know why you’re so surprised. You aced your courses and exams.” He moved to his desk, sitting down on the chair and watching Lavi’s every movement. “And let’s not pretend that your Grandfather being a Bookman didn’t hurt your chances either.”_

_“Probably not, but I don’t think he pulled any strings. At least, he said he didn’t.”_

_Allen ran his fingers over his desk, nails catching on the imperfections in the wood. He felt his heart in his throat, tight and suffocating. Lavi was so happy, so excited, that he couldn_ _’t ask the questions spiraling in his mind, the questions that ate away at his insides and left him feeling broken and unwanted for the first time since he was fifteen. “…When do you start the program?”_

_“The second week of September. I’m flying out a week early, though, to get settled in.”_

_There it was—Allen marked the date in his head, the date he knew would be the end of it all. It took all of his willpower to keep his face neutral, to keep the hurt and fear of abandonment from showing in his eyes._ _“Seems like you have everything figured out.”_

_“Almost.” Lavi kicked his legs over the side of the mattress and sat up again, turning to look back at Allen. The excitement in his green eye dimmed, the lines on his face softening. “What about us?”_

_Allen paused, his mask slipping for a split second._ _“What about us?” he asked back, repeating Lavi’s words with a more questioning tone._

_“Well… Did you want to come with me?”_

_The question struck Allen in an odd way, not as pleasing as he_ _’d expected, but certainly not unpleasant. He never expected Lavi to ask him to go with him—even though he’d known Lavi’s plans, known that the redhead wanted to study to become a Bookman and learn all there was to magical literature, he had never seen himself following after him. It wasn’t his world. He barely held himself together at college as it was._

_“Lavi, I… You’re going to a different country—a whole other continent. How am I supposed to come with you? I don’t even have a driver’s license, let alone a passport.”_

_Lavi stood up, the excitement melting into worry on his face._ _“I’ll be there for two years. That’s… It’s so long. And I won’t be able to come see you often, if at all.”_

_“I’m aware of that.”_

_“So come with me.”_

_“And do what?” Allen asked, his voice hitting a note of frustration for the first time since Lavi arrived. He paused to get it under control, to smash it back down to the bottom of his stomach before he lost his composure. “I haven’t finished college and I don’t exactly have money to move to another country. I can’t just show up there and expect to get hired or even be allowed to study at one of their universities. It’s… It’s not feasible.”_

_“I’ll pay for you—”_

_“With what? Your Grandfather’s money? I won’t have him pay my way.”_

_“Al, if you won’t come with me… I mean… Maybe I’ll stay.”_

_Allen_ _’s breath froze in his chest as he looked up at Lavi, too stunned to respond coherently. “I… what?”_

_“Two years is…” Lavi rubbed the back of his neck, looking off to the side as he collected his thoughts. “It’s a long time. We’ve never been apart for longer than a week since we started dating.”_

_“It’ll be fine,” Allen replied, even as bitterness and anxiety clenched his heart like a vice. “You can’t give up on this opportunity just because of me.”_

_Lavi clammed up after that, still unable to meet Allen_ _’s gaze. He knew as well as Allen that he was right—giving up on Bookman schooling was akin to giving up the opportunity for a life-saving transplant. Bookmen were set for life, always protected by the clan, and their magical services were always in demand. You didn’t just give it up—especially not for someone like Allen._

_He couldn_ _’t talk about it anymore. He couldn’t let Lavi think giving up his dream was even a remote possibility. And if Lavi wouldn’t listen to reason, well, Allen knew how to force his hand._

_Taking a step forward to close the gap between them, Allen reached up for Lavi_ _’s face and pulled him down into a gentle kiss. When they parted, he smiled up at the redhead. “Let’s go get dinner to celebrate. I’ll call Lena, Kanda, and Alma to see if they can meet up with us. Okay?”_

_With a nod, Lavi conceded._ _“Sure.”_

_Allen grinned back. He could pretend he didn_ _’t want Lavi to stay, but he knew deep in his heart that his desires were more selfish than that. Still, if Lavi tried to choose him over his future, Allen would make sure he didn’t get the chance to throw what was important away._

 

xXxXxXx

 

 

As Lavi had feared, the bath hadn’t broken the curse.

They’d continued to try new spells night after night, yet made no progress. The cursed marks inched up Allen’s left arm, steady and unyielding. With time against them and Lavi running out of ideas and patience, he began using trickier and more dangerous spells. The breaking point hit late that night after the latest spell backfired.

“Son of a bitch,” Lavi growled as he grabbed a blanket from the couch and threw it over the flames threatening to burn up the curtains over the living room windows. He continued to curse as he stomped out the fire, blood oozing from a cut on his forehead from the broken glass that had exploded and scattered around the room.

Allen groaned in pain on the floor, a hand to his left eye as he curled up in the fetal position. He tried to get up, but each movement sent another wave of burning along his skin.

“Allen, are you okay?” Lavi called from across the room as he put out the last of the flames. When he didn’t receive an answer, he turned to check on him. “Al?”

Allen didn’t reply, his back turned to Lavi as he lay on the floor. As soon as Lavi extinguished the fire, he rushed to Allen, a hand on his shoulder as he turned him over. “Al, are you—” As he caught sight of Allen’s face, Lavi’s throat closed up, heart hammering in his chest. The cursed mark had spread up his shoulder and neck, and across the left side of his face.

Lavi shook him again, a tremble in his lower lip as he called out to him. “Allen. Al, wake up. _Please,_ wake up.”

His eyelids fluttered before locking onto Lavi’s gaze. Allen took a breath and struggled to move. “W-What happened?” He tried to sit up, but winced in pain. “I don’t feel well.”

With a dry mouth and a tight throat, Lavi brushed back the hair from Allen’s sweat-slicked forehead. “I… The spell didn’t work.”

Allen struggled to sit up, his hand tight in Lavi’s shirt. He paused to take a few more labored breaths before leveling his gaze back on Lavi. “Is it bad?”

Lavi pressed his lips together, tongue glued to the roof of his mouth. When he didn’t answer, Allen reached for a broken piece of glass from the mirror they had used during the spell. As he caught sight of his reflection, he froze, staring at the mottled red and black marks along his neck and face. The sclera of his left eye had turned completely black, and his silver iris had grown crimson. His fingers clenched around the glass, cutting shallow gashes along the skin.

Struggling to find his words, Lavi stood up and returned to cleaning up the mess their botched spell had made. Smoke hung in the air, and he opened a window to clear the room of the foul odor. “Don’t worry,” he said, repeating the same phrase he’d been saying over and over again for the past three weeks. “I’ll find the cure, Allen. We’ll try a new spell tomorrow.”

Still staring at the broken glass, Allen’s shoulders slumped, slow and lethargic, as if he’d only just woken from a long slumber. “Lavi,” he whispered, his voice lost in the shuffling of the redhead’s frantic cleaning.

“There are a few spells we haven’t tried,” Lavi added, grabbing a broom from the kitchen to sweep up the broken glass on the floor. “I’ll get the ingredients and—”

“Lavi,” Allen repeated, voice louder this time, and breaking through the din of Lavi’s chattering. “It’s fine. I’m done.”

Lavi stopped sweeping, staring down at Allen. “What is that supposed to mean?”

Dropping the glass on the floor, Allen rubbed his face, smearing the blood across his skin. “I mean that I’m done trying to stop this. It was a mistake to come here and get you involved. I’m sorry.”

Lavi’s hands clenched around the broom handle, knuckles white as he fought to keep his voice level. “What are you talking about? I’ll figure it out. This spell was wrong, but I’ll find the right one.”

Allen winced as he stood, cursed arm stiff and wracked with pain. His fingers curled up like a claw, aching from the demonic energy pulsing in his scarred flesh. When he met Lavi’s green eye, he gave him a soft, sad smile. “There’s no point. Cross was right. The curse can’t be broken.”

The carefully constructed mask Lavi had been wearing since Allen had returned cracked—the dull sound resonating in his head as if he’d dropped a coffee mug to the floor, breaking the ceramic against the tiles. He’d been fighting for weeks with himself and this curse attempting to consume Allen, and with each failure, self-doubt plagued him. Tossing the broom on the ground, he snapped, losing his temper like never before.

“Stop saying that! Stop being so—so fatalistic!” His voice cracked as he let the words out, hands clenched into tight fists at his sides. “I can cure it! I know I can! I didn’t go to school and apprentice all those years as a junior Bookman for nothing.”

Lavi’s anger didn’t faze Allen, his face still etched with melancholy. “It’s not that I think you can’t do it—it’s that I don’t think anyone could. It’s just… I’m sorry.” He shook his head, shoulders slumped. “I’ll leave in the morning after I help you clean this mess.”

“Is that your answer for everything?” Lavi asked, rage throbbing in his voice as he glared at Allen. “To run away? Like you did four years ago?”

Allen stared back at him, surprised by the sudden shift in conversation. “Lavi, this isn’t the same—”

“The fuck it’s not!” Lavi’s voice reverberated off the walls, shocking Allen enough to force him to take a step back. “You’re doing the exact same thing! When things get hard, you bail. Just like before.”

Tears prickled at the corners of Allen’s mismatched eyes, but he blinked them away before they could fall past his lashes. “I—Lavi, there’s no point. This will only get you in trouble, possibly killed if we keep trying. I can’t have that on my conscience.”

Lavi moved forward, shrinking the gap between them as he shook with anger and frustration. “I know that!” he admitted, hands still clenched tight in fists at his side. “But have you once stopped to think about my feelings? Or to let me choose what I want to do for myself? You did that when you left before and you’re doing it again!”

“Lavi, I—”

“No! Listen to me!” Lavi shouted, cutting Allen off as he grabbed his shoulders. Allen’s eyes met Lavi’s, gazes searing into each other. “When you left last time, you—you decided _for_ me. I know I wanted to go to that school, and I probably still would’ve gone even if you had stayed, but you didn’t talk to me before you left. You didn’t ask me. I was only going to be there for two years, yet you just… left. You broke off a six year relationship without a word, like it meant _nothing._ Like _I_ meant nothing.”

Lavi’s words grew more strained as he spoke, tears filling his good eye as he held onto Allen. He didn’t care if he cried, if Allen finally saw how he really felt. It was too late to hide things, too late to keep himself from reigniting the feelings he’d had so long ago. Tyki had been right—Allen did have too much control over him. But in that moment, Lavi couldn’t care. He didn’t care that he was acting on pure emotions, throwing his rational thoughts out the window. He’d lost Allen before, and he would be damned if he’d lose him again.

Allen swallowed, lips trembling as he took a slow, shallow breath before speaking. “I didn’t want to be in your way. I didn’t want you to give up on your dream because of me. That’s why I left. I knew if we talked it out, I would lose my nerve.”

“Al, I didn’t want you to leave. We could’ve made it work, somehow.”

“Maybe,” Allen said back, his voice low and strained. “Or maybe I would’ve ruined everything you’d worked so hard for. I didn’t want to take that chance.”

Lavi’s hands smoothed up Allen’s shoulders and neck, not stopping until he cupped Allen’s cheeks. “I wanted to take that chance,” he whispered, thumbs smoothing over Allen’s scarred skin. “And I’m willing to take that chance on you now.”

Hot tears spilled down over Allen’s cheeks, sliding over his skin and Lavi’s fingers. He pressed his hands over the redhead’s, holding them close. “Lavi…” His name fell over Allen’s tongue like a prayer, like salvation.

Chest tight with emotions, Lavi held his gaze on Allen. Were he not holding onto his cheeks, he knew his fingers would’ve been shaking uncontrollably. “I missed you so much, Allen. And I just… You hurt me. I don’t think I’ve ever been hurt so much by anyone before. But even so, I still… I still love you.” He stroked Allen’s face, pulling closer until he felt Allen’s breath on his skin. “If you think I’m going to let you walk away from me again, you’re sorely mistaken.”

“I love you, too,” Allen whispered back, his hands tightening over Lavi’s. He moved in closer, eyes dewy from the tears still spilling past his lashes. “I never stopped loving you.”

Lavi pressed his forehead against Allen’s. “Then don’t give up. Don’t let me lose you again.”

With his throat tight and burning, Allen closed his eyes and nodded. “I won’t. I promise.”

It was all Lavi needed to hear. Unable to hold himself back any longer, he leaned in and closed the scarce few inches between them to press his lips against Allen’s. He tasted of salt from the tears still clinging to his skin, but Lavi didn’t stop, his tongue sliding in past his lips until he claimed Allen’s mouth like he’d done hundreds of times before, like he’d wanted to do again for years—

Like he’d been dreaming about since the day Allen had disappeared.

Allen kissed him back, arms circling around Lavi’s shoulders and pulling him in close, their bodies flush and hot against each other. He smoothed his hands down Allen’s neck and around his body until he’d wrapped his arms around his torso. His fingers gripped the loose fabric of his clothes, pulling Allen closer, as if he would disappear in a puff of smoke at any second. That anxiety deep in his chest lessened as they kissed, even as his heart pounded, leaving him light-headed and dizzy.

“L-Lavi,” Allen mumbled between their heated kisses, fingers tightening in the soft hair at the nape of his neck. “I love you. I—” A whine caught in his throat, cutting off his words as he clung tighter to the redhead.

He couldn’t hold back any longer, not when Allen was on him like a burr—hot, lithe body against Lavi’s own, fingers in his hair, lips on each other’s, and their hips aligned with a familiar precision. He didn’t even think about it as his hands slid down over Allen’s hips and down his backside until he gripped his firm ass in both hands. Lavi lifted him up off the floor with ease, Allen’s legs hooked around his hips to steady himself.

“My room,” he mumbled, kissing the juncture between Allen’s neck and shoulder as he carried him to the secluded space of his bedroom. Allen said nothing in return, but moaned softly and pressed his face into Lavi’s neck, letting himself be carried off, leaving the disaster in the living room behind them.

They fell against Lavi’s unmade bed, the sheets tangling under them as Lavi found Allen’s lips once more, kissing as the heat between them burned hotter than before. Lavi pressed Allen into the mattress, their hips aligned perfectly as they rocked against their mutual arousals. Allen tugged him down by his hair, tilting his chin as they kissed harder than before, the weeks of pent up frustration coming to a head. When he broke apart their kiss to suck in a deep breath, Allen moaned against the feel of Lavi’s body against his.

“Lavi, are you sure…?” he asked, breath hitching again as Lavi’s hand slipped up his shirt.

Lavi pressed his face into Allen’s shoulder, breath labored as his body grew hotter with every second they spent pressed together. Allen’s question hung in the air between them like a cool breeze, the bitter reminder that things had changed between them, that their relationship had strained to the point of breaking. But even with the past pain and heartache, Lavi didn’t want to stop. He couldn’t—not when he was so close to Allen. Not when his heart screamed for a tiny scrap of relief from the pain.

Not when he knew how close the curse was to consuming the one person he’d ever truly loved.

“Yes,” he mumbled, pressing a kiss along Allen’s neck, lips brushing over the soft skin. He tugged Allen’s shirt up his torso, the fabric catching under his arms before he sat up and tugged it off. The shirt fell to the floor, and Lavi stared down, taking in Allen’s form as he straddled his hips.

He hadn’t looked at Allen— _really looked at him_ —since they’d been sharing his apartment. He was thinner than Lavi remembered, his fingers brushing over the jut of his hip bones. Lavi tried his best to keep from staring at the cursed marks weaving their way up Allen’s left side, but it was hard to ignore the stark color against his pale skin.

Allen’s eyes searched Lavi’s, as if he were assessing his answer and checking for any doubt in that deep pool of green. He reached up, brushing the fingers of his unmarred right hand over Lavi’s cheek, and gave him a soft smile. “Lavi,” he said, his voice cutting the line between loving and desperate. His name was an affirmation, a long held breath finally released. Sitting up, he kissed Lavi again, holding his face with care and sliding his tongue between the redhead’s lips.

With a moan of relief, Lavi fell into the kiss, devouring Allen’s mouth like a starving man. His arms snaked around Allen’s waist, pressing their bodies together, already feeling as if the clothes they still had on were too hot and stifling to wear a moment longer.

Their kiss broke off only long enough for Lavi to chuck his shirt down with Allen’s, his excited partner sliding a hand down his undone jeans and palming his half-hard cock. Lavi’s breath hitched at the contact, and he pushed Allen back down against the bedding, grinding his hips into those eager fingers.

“Lavi,” Allen said again, his name spilling off his tongue like a prayer, “I missed this. I missed you.” He stroked the redhead through the thin fabric of his boxers, his own pants tight with need.

Lavi bit into Allen’s shoulder, teeth grazing over his skin. “I know. I—I missed you, too,” he admitted, still rocking himself against Allen. A tightness pinched in his chest, distracting him from the amorous touches Allen plied him with. “Stay this time—promise me.” His words came out between panted breaths, weak and ragged as their bodies writhed together on the bed. Lavi thought Allen might not have heard him, until the words were spilled a moment later into his ear.

“I promise—I promise I won’t leave.”

Kissing him again, Lavi whined into Allen’s mouth, his eye closed against the dim light cast in through the doorway. Allen slipped a hand behind Lavi’s head, cradling him closer as their mouths molded together. Lavi was so entranced with Allen—the tongue in his mouth, the hand down his undone pants—that when he felt the shift in weight, he was surprised to find himself on his back staring up as Allen pinned him to the mattress.

Sitting upright, Allen worked Lavi’s pants and boxers off with deft hands, the fabric sliding down his legs and joining the rest of their clothes on the floor. Lavi’s erection sprang up, heavy and stiff with excitement. Before Lavi could breathe a word to question him, Allen leaned in and took his shaft into his mouth, lips sliding down hard flesh and nose buried deep in the coarse, russet curls at the base of his cock.

Lavi cried out, hips arching up into the wet heat of Allen’s perfect mouth. He spread his legs wider, stomach taut with arousal. Pressing a hand over his mouth, he hoped to muffle the stream of wanton moans spilling past his lips.

Allen hummed as he sucked Lavi’s cock, tongue gliding up and down the underside of his shaft in slow, deliberate movements. His mismatched eyes flicked up to watch Lavi as he writhed on the sheets, lost in the feel of Allen’s touches. Slowly, Allen drew away until he released Lavi’s stiff flesh, the skin now sick with spit and precum. “Lube?” he asked, pulling himself up to his knees and crawling back over the redhead.

Lavi gestured to the nightstand next to the bed, wrists limp, still distracted from the intimate touches. “Top drawer.”

Allen stretched out over Lavi, shuffling through the drawer with one hand until he found what he was looking for—a small bottle of clear lubricant, half empty. He sat back between Lavi’s spread legs, fiddling with the bottle until he uncapped it. With a questioning glance, he ran a free hand along the curve of Lavi’s ass and asked, “Is this okay?”

Nodding, Lavi widened his legs and relaxed back against the sheets. “Yeah. I want you to.”

With a smile on his lips, Allen dribbled the lube onto his fingers, then slipped them between Lavi’s legs, fingers smoothing along his entrance. The cool slickness of the lube against such an intimate area made Lavi twitch, but he gripped the sheets beneath him and let Allen tease him as he pleased.

Allen ran his fingers along Lavi’s hole as he leaned back over him. Without preamble, he bent low and took Lavi’s length into his mouth once more, sucking him down until it brushed the back of his throat. Lavi moaned, the taunting touches from both ends leaving his stomach tied in knots and his face flushed bright red. Allen took his time, working him up with his ministrations, until he breached the tight ring of muscle with the first finger.

Groaning, Lavi tossed his head to the side, biting down on his lip to distract himself from the stretch. It didn’t hurt, but the initial intrusion always sent chills down his spine and left his body on edge. Allen worked his finger in and out of his hole with slow strokes, twisting and stretching with precision as he slid his mouth over his cock. When he’d deemed Lavi ready to continue, he pressed in a second finger along the first, and pushed in knuckle deep. Lavi keened at the mounting pressure.

“Al, you—” Another moan slipped past his lips, bouncing off the walls of his bedroom. His hips rocked up into Allen’s parted lips, seeking more friction from that wet heat. He wouldn’t last long at this pace.

When Allen’s fingers curved into that sweet spot deep inside him, Lavi whined, pressing a hand into his mouth to stifle the sound. Allen sucked him down deeper, bobbing his head and quickening his pace, fingers pumping into Lavi’s ass in tandem with each suck to his cock. With his eye screwed shut and his mouth agape in a voiceless gasp, he came onto Allen’s tongue with a pump of his hips. Allen did his best to swallow the white down, but some of it spilled past his lips, dripping along the corners of his mouth. He popped off of Lavi’s cock when he’d finished, and watched the redhead attempt to catch his breath as he continued to finger him.

“You okay?” Allen mumbled, voice hoarse and rough.

“Y-Yeah. I just— _aah_ ,” Lavi whined again, hips arching up as Allen pressed against his prostate again. He was already over-sensitive after cumming, but Allen wasn’t letting up yet.

With a smile, Allen’s eyes focused in on Lavi—hungrily taking in his wrecked mess of a body. His chest rose and fell heavy with each breath, and reluctantly he withdrew his fingers from inside Lavi. He hummed softly to himself, quickly shucking off his pants and grabbing the lube. “You’re sensitive.”

Lavi huffed a short laugh, staring up at the ceiling as Allen stroked himself to spread the lube around. “It’s your fault.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” Allen shifted closer, grabbing Lavi’s leg and slinging it over his shoulder before lining himself up against his entrance. “Ready?”

Nodding, Lavi closed his eye and tried to relax. He felt the dull pressure against his ass, and the stretch as Allen breached the tight ring of muscles. He whimpered as Allen slid inside, biting his lip and clenching his fists in the sheets.

When Allen bottomed out, he let out a soft sigh, hand rubbing over Lavi’s thigh as he waited for him to acclimate to the stretch and fullness. He smoothed his free hand along Lavi’s hip. “It’s been so long,” he mumbled, more to himself than Lavi, eyelids drooped and heavy with desire as he watched Lavi’s spent member twitch against his stomach.

Lavi met his gaze and let out a long, steadying breath. “I know.” The weight of those shared words burned between them, thick with years of pent up emotions and too much left unsaid. Swallowing it down, he focused on the moment—the join of their bodies, the musk of sex in the air—anything but his aching heart and their uncertain future. He chuckled, rocking his hips against Allen’s to test their bond. “C’mon. Don’t keep me waiting.”

The joking tone was enough to shake Allen out of whatever downward spiral his own thoughts had taken. He smiled, softer this time, and more real than any he’d seen on his face since he’d returned. “As you wish.” His fingers tightened on Lavi’s thigh as he took his first thrust, pulling back and delving deep into his ass. Lavi moaned, back arching obscenely when he struck that sweet spot deep inside. Allen’s hips rocked slow at first, rhythmic and steady as he worked in and out of Lavi’s backside. Lips parted ever so slightly, he fucked into Lavi’s tight hole as he stared down at him, skin flushed and sweaty.

Lavi closed his eye for a quick moment, the hot feeling of skin on skin washing over him like steam from a shower. He reached out, hands on Allen’s shoulders as he pulled him in, their chests pressed flush together. “Closer, Al,” he mumbled until their lips met in a messy, fumbling kiss. Allen groaned into it, his hips canting erratically as he lost himself in the feeling.

“Ah, Lavi,” he whispered between kisses. Allen braced himself against the mattress, fucking into Lavi as they kissed again and again, tongues in each other’s mouth and teeth clacking together. Lavi moaned, meeting Allen’s thrusts with his own half-hearted ones.

Burying his hands in Allen’s silver hair, Lavi tugged him closer. His cock stirred against his stomach as Allen thrust harder, his tongue delving in between his lips and claiming his mouth with the same vigor.

“ _Mmm_ ,” Allen moaned, mouth still on Lavi’s as his hips pumped faster. When he broke the kiss to suck in a quick breath, he ducked his head and pressed his face into Lavi’s sweaty shoulder, shivers running through his limbs.

In a desperate bid to pull Allen deeper into him, Lavi wrapped his legs around his torso tighter, grinding his hips and digging his nails into his back and shoulders. He felt himself grow hard again, surprisingly quick after his first orgasm, and bit his lip to distract himself from his oversensitive flesh. His cock rubbed against his and Allen’s stomachs, and with each thrust of their hips, he felt that knot in his stomach grow tighter.

Allen brandished wet kisses over his neck, tongue smoothing along his sweat-slicked skin and teeth occasionally nipping as he worked his way up to Lavi’s pierced ear. He sucked the lobe, moaning into his ear as he fucked into Lavi harder with each thrust. The wet sound of skin slapping against skin echoed off the bedroom walls, and the creaking of the boxspring emphasized each instance of their bodies meeting.

They continued like that, bodies tense with desire and slicked with sweat as they fought towards a mutual need, that deep want for release. It was more than physical—past the wanton touches and excited kisses, they needed this closeness. They needed something to hold onto, even if it was only dredged up feelings from the past. Lavi would take it. He couldn’t box up his feelings and pretend they didn’t exist. Four years had been long enough.

“Lav—” Allen whispered, his name cut off with a longing groan. His fingers curled around Lavi’s hip, holding him as they moved against each other. “I-I’m close.”

Breathing through his mouth, lips parted and tongue hot with excitement, Lavi nodded quickly, pressing his nose against Allen’s neck. “Me, too,” he added, that familiar tingle zipping along his skin the longer they rocked into each other. He slipped a hand between their bodies and hurried himself along, cock rock hard for the second time that night, and twice as sensitive as before.

Allen grinned as he felt Lavi jerking himself off between them, and kissed along his jawline sloppily, fighting back a few of the louder moans that threatened to slip past his lips. “Come for me, Lavi,” he mumbled as he thrust harder. “I want to feel it on my skin.”

Teasing the dripping slit of his cock, Lavi whined, clinging to Allen’s shoulders with his free hand as he stroked himself in time with Allen’s thrusts. The pressure had built up inside his stomach until he was ready to burst, limbs taut and strained. Allen’s lewd words were the final straw, the last thread of composure snapped as he came on their chests with a loud moan.

Without giving him a chance to catch his breath, Allen pumped himself into Lavi harder, spurred on by the mess between them. Seconds passed, stiff and tense, until Allen joined Lavi in completion, the rhythm of his hips erratic as he spilled himself into the redhead’s ass. They panted together on the mattress, covered in sweat, spit, and cum, as they fought to catch their breaths. Allen collapsed against Lavi, heedless of the mess on their chests and stomachs, or the one oozing out of Lavi’s hole.

Closing his eyes, Allen pressed in close, hands tight on Lavi’s sides. “Wow,” he whispered, face pressed into Lavi’s chest. “I’d forgotten how much I liked doing this with you.”

Lavi chuckled, running a hand through Allen’s sweaty hair. “I know.” He swallowed, throat tight as he fought to keep his voice level. “I feel the same.”

“We should… clean up. The living room is still a mess,” Allen said, but made no move to separate themselves.

“We’re a mess.” He smiled and took a deep breath. “But yeah. We should. I just… don’t want to move yet.”

Allen hummed in agreement, his hand sliding up and down Lavi’s bare side. “I’m okay waiting a bit.” He paused, a smile catching on his lips. He ducked his head to hide it against Lavi’s chest.

“Mm.” Still petting Allen’s hair, Lavi relaxed back against the mattress and tried not to think about how everything would be different—now that he’d opened up his heart again. “A few minutes won’t hurt anything.”

 

xXxXxXx

 

Morning came sooner than Lavi would’ve liked. Muted sunlight spilled in past the curtains hanging over his window, the overcast skies begging him to stay curled up under the covers and sleep the day away. The warm body next to him didn’t help matters, either.

Lavi’s eye cracked open slowly, only to be met with a mess of silver hair blocking his vision. Allen curled up against his chest, face buried in his shoulder and sound asleep. They cuddled up under the blankets in his bed, limbs entwined and bodies pressed together. A soft sigh passed through his lips as he recalled last night’s events.

After their amorous activities, they cleaned the apartment and themselves, then snuggled back into Lavi’s bed. They’d talked for hours, like they should’ve done when Allen had first arrived back in town. Everything and anything spilled out between them, filling the gaps that four years had left. They spoke of their time apart, travels, accomplishments, new acquaintances and old. The only thing they didn’t talk about was the future.

With gentle movements, Lavi shifted back to look into Allen’s sleeping face. His thumb smoothed over his left cheek, along the red and black cursed marks scarred into his skin. Allen had almost given up trying to find a cure, and that alone had cemented Lavi’s resolve to fix this before it was too late. He knew the dangers of curses, and that if he couldn’t break it, Allen’s—and possibly his own—life would be forfeit. But he had time, at least enough to try one more spell, a spell that he’d been saving as a last resort. Nothing had worked thus far, and they didn’t have the luxury of wading through anymore ancient grimoires or tomes to search for obscure curse breaking spells.

And Lavi was determined to not waste anymore precious time.

Allen let out a soft groan, tugging Lavi from his thoughts. He shifted against the redhead, arm curled over his side and pulling him closer. Lavi watched him, a melancholic smile spreading over his face as Allen’s eyes fluttered open. “Morning,” he said, sliding his fingers through Allen’s soft locks.

“Good morning,” Allen croaked out, sleep still heavy in his voice. He blinked a few times before meeting Lavi’s gaze. “Am I dreaming, or are you really still here?”

The question tugged at his heartstrings, and without thinking, he leaned in and kissed Allen’s forehead with a gentle touch of his lips. “It’s not a dream, Al.”

Allen sighed, pressing his face up against Lavi’s collarbone. “Good.” He rested there for a moment, breaths even as he tightened his fingers on Lavi’s side. “What time is it?”

Lavi stroked Allen’s hair, peeking over at the clock on his nightstand. “Almost 10.”

Allen stiffened at the answer and looked up at him. “Isn’t the shop supposed to be open by now?”

Lavi stared across the room, not meeting Allen’s gaze. “I’m closing for today.” He focused on silky feeling of Allen’s hair as it slid through his fingers. “I need to pick up some things for the spell I want to try tonight.”

“Another one? So soon?” Allen asked, chewing on his bottom lip. “Are you sure you’re up for it?”

“Yeah. I got a feeling we’ll get lucky tonight.” He pulled Allen in closer, tucking his head under his chin.

“Oh? What makes tonight so special?”

With a shrug, he nosed along the top of Allen’s hair. “Call it a hunch. Either way, we get to sleep in just a little longer.”

Relaxing in Lavi’s arms, Allen let out a soft breath and closed his eyes again. “Can’t argue with that.”

 

xXxXxXx

 

Lavi left for Tyki’s shop while Allen showered, feeling that bubbling guilt in his stomach as he left a short note on the refrigerator and slipped out before he could be questioned on exactly where he was going. He’d let Allen know only that he’d needed supplies, and that he wanted to try another spell tonight, but other than that, he’d hoped to keep Allen in the dark.

As he entered the shop, a cool gust of autumn air on his heels, Lavi searched the storefront for any signs of the obnoxious owner. He closed the door behind him, and unzipped his coat as he stepped further into the shop. “Tyki?”

It only took a moment for Tyki to appear, emerging from the back room while juggling a few jars of herbs. When he caught sight of Lavi waiting at the register, he grinned. “To what do I owe the honor of this visit, Red?” he asked, setting the jars down on the front counter and eyeing him with interest. “Tired of fooling around with that boy? You know my backroom is always open for you.”

“Not today, jackass.” Pulling a small slip of paper from the inside pocket of his jacket, he handed it to Tyki, face set in hard lines and frustrated frown. “I need everything on this list.”

Tyki snatched the list from Lavi’s hand and quickly read over its contents. His eyebrows raised as he shifted his gaze to Lavi, a dubious look on his face. “Are you serious?”

“Do you have it all in stock or not?” Lavi didn’t bother answering the question, hoping Tyki wouldn’t pry too much if he acted aloof enough.

Setting the list on the counter between them, Tyki clucked his tongue. “Red, you’re messing with things you shouldn’t.”

“I didn’t ask for your opinion. I asked for your merchandise.”

Tyki didn’t say anything for a long moment. He chewed on the inside of his lip as he stared at Lavi, golden eyes raking over his body. Lavi stared back, unwavering as he waited for an answer. Near a minute passed before Tyki sighed and turned away, returning to the task he’d been working on before Lavi arrived. He knelt down and arranged the jars of herbs on the shelves under the front counter.

“I’d be a fool to sell you all those things,” he said, going about his business.

“I have the money. I’m a _paying_ customer,” Lavi snapped back, hands splayed on the counter as he leaned over it, glaring down at Tyki. “Just let me buy what I need.”

Tyki stood again, faster than Lavi had expected, and the suddenness of it had the redhead shrinking back. Tyki might’ve only had a few inches of height on him, but he still managed to tower over Lavi when he wanted to be intimidating. “Dragon’s scales? Pure troll fat? An orb of Arae? Fairy wings? These are not cheap… Half this list is not even legal.”

Lavi swallowed, not breaking eye contact. “But you have it, right? You can give it to me?”

“There’s a difference between _can_ and _should_.” Tyki crossed his arms, and Lavi thought he might’ve seen a hint of concern wash over his face. “Do you want the CROWs on your ass? They’re not a fun bunch to deal with.”

“I’ll worry about that. Just get me what I need.”

Tyki laughed, dry and mirthless as he shoved the rest of the jars under the counter, nearly breaking them in the process. “So fucking demanding of me. And why should I help you help him, hm? You think I don’t know what all this stuff is for?”

Lavi stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jacket, hiding the nervous tremor in his fingers. “It’s not for him.”

“Bullshit. I’m not fucking stupid.” Tyki leaned over the counter and glared down at Lavi. “You only do shit this stupid when he’s involved. And I don’t know what kind of trouble he got himself into, but you’re not the one who has to fix it. I’m not getting this for you—any of it.”

“Tyki—”

“No, Lavi.” He turned his back on him, pretending to fuss with some of the jars on the shelves behind on the wall. “I won’t be a party to your self-destruction.”

Face burning with frustration, Lavi clenched his hands into fists, rage boiling in his guts. “Bold words, considering that’s exactly what you did when Allen left.”

Letting out a short laugh, Tyki turned back around. He rapped his fingers against the glass countertop. “That was different.”

“You fucking know it wasn’t. You’re the one who dragged me out every night after he left. You’re the one who—” Lavi cut himself off, unable to finish his sentence.

Silence cut between them, rough and hard like a stone, and before Lavi could fumble for more reasons to argue Tyki’s logic, he walked around the glass display and grabbed Lavi’s shoulder, fingers digging into his coat.

“Who what? Who gave you a much needed distraction when the _‘love of your life’_ disappeared on you?” Tyki asked, glaring down at Lavi and moving close enough for Lavi to smell his aftershave. “I was the one who was there for you when he deserted you years ago, and you have the balls to accuse me of deliberately trying to hurt you?”

“I didn’t say that—”

“No, but you said enough.” Tyki’s grip loosened, but he didn’t move away. “Look, Red. I know you love that boy, and that I was just a convenient replacement for a while, but just because he’s back in town doesn’t mean you should put your life in danger for him.”

Lavi’s throat tightened, dry as a desert as he let Tyki’s words wash over him. “If you think he asked me to, he didn’t.”

“No, I know he wouldn’t ask you outright. And if he knew what you were planning, if that little list of yours is any indication, he’d never agree to it.”

Reluctantly, Lavi pulled away, brushing off Tyki’s hand. “Fine.” He cleared his throat as he headed towards the door. “If you’re not going to help, then I’ll get what I need elsewhere.”

“Oh?” Tyki asked, turning to watch Lavi leave. “And where the hell do you think you’ll get what you want?”

“You’re not the only game in town. I know places that don’t ask so many annoying questions.” He grabbed the doorknob, ready to head back into the cold, but before he could turn it, Tyki pulled him back. He lost his balance for a moment, but when he righted himself and turned back around, Tyki let out a heavy, resigned sigh.

“You goddamn asshole.” Tyki spat, a sour look on his face. “You win. I’ll get your shit. At least then I know you’ll have quality products.” He grumbled to himself as he headed into the back room to grab the items on the list.

Lavi watched dumbstruck as Tyki caved. He walked back to the counter and waited as Tyki grabbed all the supplies he’d asked for. When he’d grabbed everything and packed it away, he rang it up on the register, looking none too pleased with his actions. Lavi paid for his purchase and took the bag into both arms, relieved. “Thank you.”

Tyki rubbed his eyes and let out a harried sigh. “Answer me one thing—are you sure it’s worth it? Are you sure _he_ _’s_ worth it, after everything that happened?”

After a long quiet moment, Lavi nodded, a small smile gracing his lips. “…Yeah. He is.”

 

xXxXxXx

 

Allen stared down at the intricate design Lavi had been drawing out on the living room floor for hours, his stomach uneasy as he tried to decipher the scripts. Whatever spell Lavi had decided on for the night was powerful, but when he asked him for the details, the redhead brushed him off with vague explanations. So far, all he’d learned was that the spell was meant to suck the curse from his body, transferring it into the orb Lavi had come home with, along with a plethora of other items—some of which Allen had recognized as rare or illegal.

“Are you sure you don’t want any help?” he asked, settling in next to Lavi as he worked with the chalk.

“Almost finished,” Lavi said, still focused on the pattern. “You could set up the candles, though.”

With a nod, Allen went to work, grabbing the box of matches and setting the thick, pillar candles around the chalked circle at evenly spaced intervals. There were at least twenty candles, all white. Lavi had been preparing to cast the spell all day, as soon as he’d returned from his errands. Drawing the casting circle was the last step, and Allen’s stomach flipped nervously as he tried to ignore the squirming unease that had set deep in his bones. He scratched at his left arm, the cursed marks, rough against his skin, liked dry scabs. He’d avoided looking in mirrors, or even down at his own hand, not wanting to see the monster he was slowly becoming.

He knew Lavi wouldn’t give up, foolish as it was to continue. The further Allen’s curse progressed, the more likely he was to lose himself in the transformation. And if that happened, well—he didn’t know if Lavi could protect himself from the demon threatening to take over his body.

He’d thought about leaving, making sure to get himself far away from anyone he could potentially hurt. But Lavi had stopped him, kept him from disappearing for a second time. Allen knew he was making a mistake. He didn’t want to hurt Lavi, and he didn’t want him to get into trouble if the CROWs found out he was aiding and abetting a cursed person. He should’ve given himself over to the agency weeks ago—at least then he’d know that he wouldn’t hurt anyone. But maybe he’d convinced himself that he just needed to see Lavi one more time before he lost everything.

And now? Now they were neck deep in spells, hoping to find a cure—to rid Allen of this curse gifted to him by a family he didn’t even know existed.

A heavy sigh drew Allen’s attention as he placed the last candle around the circle. Lavi stood, stretching his arms over his head as he stepped over the carefully constructed lines. “Almost ready,” he said, grabbing a bowl from the kitchen that he’d compiled earlier. The concoction smelled awful, like sweaty feet and old cheese, but Allen said nothing as Lavi carried the bowl into the circle and sat down.

“Could you light the candles?” Lavi asked, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a crystal clear ball, setting it in the middle of the circle, just in front of his crossed legs.

“Sure.” Allen went about the task, lighting each candle and moving to the next until they were all lit. He stood on the edge of the circle, used matches smoking between his fingers as he waited. Something about this was different than last time, and the unease in his stomach grew tenfold. “Lavi?” he asked, concern lacing his voice.

Lavi’s gaze met Allen’s then, and for a split second, fear raced through his heart. Something about Lavi’s demeanor threw him, but he still couldn’t figure out exactly what was wrong. However, Lavi smiled as he always did, and gestured for Allen to join him in the circle. “Sit across from me, and take off your shirt.”

Allen paused, a knot stuck in his throat as his fingers brushed the hem of his shirt. “Lavi… What kind of spell is this?” The question hung in the air between them, Allen’s feet toeing the edge of the casting circle.

Licking his lips, Lavi set the bowl in his lap and met Allen’s unsure gaze. “It’s a spell that I hope will break your curse for good.”

Another pause interrupted their conversation, shorter this time. “Is it dangerous?”

The corner of Lavi’s eye creased deeper, and the smile on his lips that should’ve been reassuring only felt like a nail in his coffin. “No more dangerous than the rest of the spells we tried. C’mon, we need to do this soon. It’s strongest at dusk.”

Against his better judgment, Allen stripped out of his shirt and stepped into the circle, sitting down across from Lavi. He said nothing, too nervous for idle conversation as Lavi prepared the spell. Lavi stirred the foul smelling potion in his lap, a wide, flathead paintbrush soaking up the disgusting mess of herbs and whatever else he’d thrown in. Taking Allen’s left hand, Lavi began to paint the stinky mixture onto his skin—anywhere the cursed mark had reached. Without speaking, he covered all of Allen’s left arm, shoulder, and side of his face, not leaving a drop behind. He set the bowl back outside the circle, then held out his hands, palms facing up.

“Ready?” he asked, voice wavering as he avoided looking into Allen’s eyes.

Allen wasn’t ready. That apprehension deep in the pit of his stomach hadn’t abated like he’d hoped—instead, it grew like a fungus spreading through his insides. But it was too late to turn back now, too late to stop what they’d put in motion. And there was that sliver of hope that maybe— _just maybe_ —they would manage to finally cure him.

“Yes,” Allen answered, even as his heart dropped into the pit of his stomach. He placed his hands over Lavi’s and felt the magic zap through them.

“Remember,” Lavi began as he adjusted his position and settled in. “Once I begin the incantation, do not break the circle—no matter what. Okay?”

“O-Okay.” Allen swallowed, palms already sweaty from nerves. But as he watched Lavi, he saw nothing but calm determination etched in his features. He took a calming breath, and waited for Lavi to begin the incantation.

_“I call upon the spirits—_

_My will is your will,_

_My life is your life._ _”_

The hair on the back of Allen’s neck stood on end as the energy swirled around the circle. The lights flickered overhead, and he had to fight the urge to yank his hands free from Lavi’s and break the circle. The only thing keeping him rooted to his spot on the floor was Lavi’s prior warning, and the unspoken reminder that causing the spell to misfire was worse than letting it run its course. He squeezed his eyes shut and tucked his chin down and ignored the trepidation thrumming through his limbs.

_“Undo what has been done,_

_Wipe the slate clean again,_

_Cleanse this life of darkness._ _”_

As Lavi finished the next part of the incantation, the lights went out completely, leaving the living room cast in the shadows of the candles still lit around the circle. An unnatural wind picked up, and Allen felt his hair brush against his cheeks. His skin itched and burned where Lavi had covered him in the smelly concoction earlier, as if fire ants were making him a meal. He opened his eyes, only to see the crystal orb sitting between them glowing bright.

His voice caught in his throat and he looked to Lavi, silver eyes full of hope. However, as he stared across at the redhead, fear clenched his heart.

Lavi sweat profusely, the liquid dripping down the sides of his face as he focused on the crystal. He shivered, as if in pain, but didn’t let go of Allen’s hands or stop the spell. He continued the incantation—

_“A life for a life,_

_To break this spell._

_A life for a life,_

_To break this curse._ _”_

As the words registered in Allen’s mind, his eyes widened. “Lavi— _no!_ ” He tried to pull his hands away, panic racing through his veins, but Lavi gripped his wrists tight. No matter how hard he struggled, Allen couldn’t break free. Tears spilled down his cheeks. “Stop it! I don’t want you to do this! _Stop!_ ”

The air whipped around them, crackling with magic as Lavi continued to chant the last lines of the spell over and over again. Allen’s skin burned worse than before, like hot embers were pressed against his flesh.

Wincing, he looked down at his arm, the skin glowing bright, pulsing in time with the light from the sphere between them. It cracked and peeled off in layers, like a nasty sunburn. He was so panicked over the spell and what it was doing to Lavi that he didn’t notice the changes to his own skin until he looked down at his left hand. With each layer peeling off, the curse markings grew lighter and lighter.

Allen watched, mouth agape as the curse slowly vanished from his body. With each second that passed, his skin grew clearer and the light emanating from the crystal orb turned dark—a mottled black and red that reminded Allen of the markings that had marred his skin for months. The awe he felt at the freeing sight turned to horror when he heard Lavi stutter to finish the last line of the incantation. Looking up, he saw blood dripping from the corner Lavi’s mouth, staining his lips and chin red.

“Lavi, please stop,” Allen begged, fingers trembling against his tight grip.

“Not until—” Lavi grit his teeth, fighting through another wave of pain, the cursed marks still draining from Allen’s skin, faster than before. “Not until the curse is gone. This was the only way.”

Allen pulled again, but Lavi’s grip was like a vice around his wrists. Tears flooded his eyes again. “I _don_ _’t_ want this. You’re going to die at this rate.” He shifted again, trying to move closer to the edge of the circle, hoping to cross the line and interrupt the spell.

“ _Allen_.” Lavi jerked him back, pain trembling in his fingers. “If you break the circle, we’ll _both_ die.”

“It’s not worth it—” Allen cried out, shaking his head as tears poured down his cheeks in rivulets. “Why are you doing this?”

Lavi’s grip on Allen loosened, but this time, Allen didn’t pull away. He still had more strength than Allen expected as the spell sucked the life from his body. But as strong as he tried to stay, Allen could see the creases of pain etched into his face, and the cold sweat breaking out on his skin. “I promised to cure you,” he said, weak as the spell drained the last of curse from Allen’s body. “And it was worth it—to save you.”

The light in Lavi’s solitary green eye dimmed, and with it, the wind whipping around them faded as well. His limbs grew slack and he fell forward into Allen’s lap, his fingers loose around his wrists. With blurry vision, Allen shook him, desperately trying to hold himself together. “Lavi?! Lavi!!”

 

 

xXxXxXx

 

Everything hurt—his head, his arms and legs, his insides, even the tip of his nose. Was death supposed to hurt? He’d imagined death as nothingness. A void, a dark eternity where he would feel nothing, think nothing, and be nothing. Quiet, endless dark. But this? This wasn’t what he’d envisioned. He ached all over, his mind ran on and on, and something edged in to disrupt his rambling thoughts. Voices—familiar, yet too hazy and disjointed to understand.

Maybe this was Hell. Maybe Hell was eternal pain and darkness. Maybe he’d fucked up enough to earn this fate. He groaned, squeezing his eye tighter as the aches and pains coursed through his body. Even in death, he couldn’t escape.

_“Lavi?”_

Ah, now the Devil called his name—probably to welcome him to an eternity in agony.

_“He’s waking up. Go grab some water.”_

The Devil sounded awfully familiar… Lavi let out a heavy breath and opened his eye. Darkness receded and the soft light of dawn greeted him, spilling past the curtains in his bedroom. And just above him, not a foot from his face, Tyki stared down, eyebrows knit with worry.

“Fuck, I knew I was in Hell,” Lavi mumbled, throwing his arm over his face to block the sight.

“You’re not dead, asshole,” Tyki said, rolling his eyes. He tugged Lavi’s arm away from his face before grabbing a mug of something steaming from the nightstand. “You’re just an idiot who got _extremely_ lucky. So lucky, in fact, that I’m surprised you’re already awake.”

“What are you doing here?” Lavi asked, rubbing his face as he tried to scrub the exhaustion from his body.

“The boy called me in a panic last night after you pulled your little stunt,” Tyki answered, turning towards the nightstand as he spoke. “It’s a good thing he did, too. You might not have made it if I hadn’t shown up.”

“Well, someone thinks highly of his abilities.”

“Here—drink this.” He shoved the mug towards Lavi, keeping hold of it until he sat up and took it on his own.

Lavi recoiled at the smell. “Ugh, what is this?”

“A potion to get your energy back. You drained yourself dry with that spell—the one I told you _not_ to do, remember?”

Allen entered the bedroom as Lavi took his first tentative sip, nearly gagging as he drank down the liquid. Allen handed him a glass of water to wash it down, taking the mug from his hands.

Lavi whined as he took a long gulp, then glared at Tyki. “That’s disgusting.”

Tyki took the water from his hands and switched it back with the herbal remedy. “That’s what you get for trying to kill yourself last night.” He side-eyed Allen before turning and heading for the door. “I’ll be in the kitchen making you some goddamn soup, you ungrateful brat.”

Lavi stuck his tongue out at Tyki as he left, the childish fit dissipating quickly. He turned to Allen, who still stood near the bed wringing his hands. He noticed the change immediately as he took in Allen’s countenance—the cursed marks had faded away, leaving nothing but a few scars to show for it. They weren’t too deep or distinguishable, but Lavi knew where to look, where his skin was just not quite right.

“I take it the spell worked,” he said, a grin plastered over his face.

“I can’t believe you did that—and without my consent, too.” Allen chewed at the inside of his lip, still not meeting Lavi’s gaze. “You could’ve died.”

“But I didn’t. And look? You’re cured. Mission accomplished, right?”

A flash of anger passed over Allen’s features. “It was careless and stupid.” He swallowed, hands still wringing uselessly as he stared at the foot of the bed. “I thought you were dead. I—”

“I’m sorry, Al. But I had to do something to stop the curse. I couldn’t just… let it consume you.” He set the mug of foul potion on the nightstand and grabbed Allen’s hands. His lips curved up into a small smile as he felt the smoothness of his skin where the curse had been lifted. “I didn’t want to lose you again.”

Wiping discreetly at his eyes, Allen took a breath and turned to Lavi, his silver eyes intense as they pinned him in place. “Lavi, never scare me like that again. I… I don’t think I can handle it.”

Lavi gently tugged Allen closer, until they both sat in the bed, backs pressed up against the headboard. “Tell you what,” he began, tucking his face against Allen’s neck. “I’ll promise to never try anything so reckless again if you promise to never leave again.”

He felt Allen’s body relax against his, sinking into the embrace with an ease that Lavi wouldn’t have thought possible a few weeks ago. Allen pressed a kiss to the side of his head. “I promise.”

Lavi smiled like he hadn’t in years. “Then it’s a deal.”


End file.
